I've been ruminating on something for months and months, but I haven't mentioned it here on the blog because people on the internet seem disinclined to mention spirituality unless you're in a Yoga zone. Also, a sizable portion of people seem to cruise the internet simply because they like to argue. I avoid those people because their Energy is nasty and hangs in the atmosphere long after they're gone. I can tolerate that bullshit when discussing Politics or Religion, but if I'm wondering about Angels or Spirit Guides, for example, I don't need some bilious troll spewing Negativity.
Another trouble is that as soon as you mention Energy, you find yourself on an Airy Fairy, Hippie Dippie, New Age trajectory that may very well lead to militant lesbians who gather in state parks to worship the Goddess and use a Y to spell "womyn" because they can't stand the idea that the word women contains men. No disrespect to those womyn, but as someone who would like to be taken seriously, at least occasionally, I'm not going there. As hard as The Patriarchy sucks, and as important as it is to use gender-neutral vocabulary - the Y thing seems like a hostile affectation.
Discussing Energy is further complicated because of Grandpa in the Sky - better known as God - who fucks up everything in which He becomes involved. That's not God's fault. It's the fault of Conservative Christian Right Wing Republicans and the Teabaggers and Dominionists who are their Spawn. At least, that's whose fault it is in America. Different cultures have different extremists.
Militant Lesbians and Global Politics have not prevented me from wondering if the pain in my left shoulder is evidence of an individual energetic issue. They have, however, prevented me from discussing it on the blog. The thing is that when you're sincerely working on Being the Change, you have to examine your own character in order to align your actions with your beliefs. Further, if your energy is not flowing evenly and strongly up and down your Chakras, you will be unable to thoroughly process any of your thoughts, ideas, beliefs and/or feelings which makes a person energetically constipated. The Chakras process energy so that your spirit is functioning healthily in much the same way that the digestive system processes everything we take in physically so that the body is healthy and functional.
In a literal way, Teabaggers are spiritually constipated. Everyone's energy runs up and down the chakras with the idea of connecting the Earthly to the Divine. Tantric ideas are based on this understanding of Energy so that orgasms become a spiritual experience. The energy starts at the first Chakra, at the bottom, and runs up the core and out through the top of the head - hence the term, mind blowing orgasm.
It's the same with Teabagger Thinking. They hear something that Glenn Beck says, for example. Because they are spiritually constipated, they cannot process input effectively. Ideas and Beliefs are trapped in the first chakra - so that in a concrete (if Airy Fairy) way, their heads are, in fact, in their butts.
For Real - I wonder if all the physical issues I've had with my left shoulder ever since I got thrown off a horse back in the summer of 2006 are a manifestation of troublesome juju.
Sometimes I wonder if there's a spirit guide trying to tell me something. Like a little kid yanking on your arm all the time saying, "Hey - over here!" Maybe it's not a spirit guide, exactly, but when I got my DNA activated in 2007, Davis told me that the sore spot at the base of my neck - just where the neck slopes into the left shoulder - is where somebody else's secret is trapped. I have ideas about that secret, but I'm still unclear about a lot of stuff. I will say, however, that as a result of my history, I frequently stifled myself in relationships in order to maintain the appearance of Harmony. In reality, there was discord, but when I was effectively communicating only what the other person wanted to hear, the other person thought there was harmony.
I got thrown off the horse a couple of weeks after I finally gave my own voice enough power to break through Buzz Kill's brick wall of Denial regarding our marriage. By that time I was furious, unfortunately, and he finally moved home to his Mother. On one level, it was exhilarating to release my voice and free my spirit. On all my other levels, the experience was so terrifying and destructive that I shut the fuck up. As it happens, two weeks prior to the spectacular climax of my marital dysfunction, I met The Narcissist. One of the primary reasons that relationship could function had to do with the way I modified my Voice.
About nine months later, I had to have surgery to shorten the tendons in my shoulder since it was dislocating all the time. Although my shoulder is now stable, it hurts sometimes. Well, it hurts all the time and the range of motion is seriously restricted. Certainly, there are physical reasons for that pain and restriction, and getting thrown off that horse was just a random incident. Random shit happens all the time - the entire existence of this planet and life on it is probably random shit that rose from the fundamental chaos of the universe. Nevertheless, the way I went flying through the air when that horse kicked his hind legs toward some construction noise he heard in the alley behind the stable on West 89th Street was a direct result of my personal body alignment - which is a manifestation of my personal energy.
Things with my voice have improved dramatically so that I can communicate effectively at work with kids, parents, colleagues and the administration. I express my honest opinion appropriately. Up until a couple of years ago, I could only tell the whole truth if I were so upset that I was in tears. I don't know what happens in romantic relationships these days since I don't have one - but despite the fact that me and the preacher didn't hit it off, I believe the communication was honest and respectful. Things with Buzz Kill are totally cool these days, and they are with my friends and family too. In fact, the only relationship that remains fucked up is the one with The Narcissist, but my writing isn't where I'd like it to be either which is all about empowering my voice which brings us back to that pain in my shoulder.
Caroline Myss says that your Biography becomes your Biology. Everybody knows that it's common to hold stress in our necks and shoulders. A secret that bubbles under the surface of a family for a generation or two certainly causes stress. And when that secret has restricted your ability to manifest your authentic identity, it's very easy to just jump further down the Airy Fairy Trajectory and declare my shoulder pain to be a physical expression of the task of empowering and releasing my own voice. Fourth Chakra stuff, if I'm remembering correctly.
In
Spiritual Alchemy, Caroline talks all about examining our lives from an archetypal perspective. It has to do with approaching our challenges and issues with deeper awareness which leads to personal balance and stability. She advocates taking a moment to look at yourself and ask: What the Fuck are you Doing and Why are you doing it over and over and over again? She proposes looking at yourself as if you were a character in a fairy tale - which is pretty much Jungian psychology. It's just that after he himself explored Eastern philosophy, he concluded that Westerners we so stuck in their Egos that we couldn't do Yoga. As if we can't have those mind blowing orgasms because our heads are stuck up our butts. I can see why he'd think so given the nature of Hilter, the Holocaust, WWII and I don't know what all else was in the environment back then. Reaganomics and Endless War enriching Plutocrats further support Jung's conclusions.
You can't wave a magic wand and change the Teabaggers - or Karl Rove and Dick Cheney for that matter. All you can do is Be The Change, like Gandhi said.
To that end - if this ongoing pain in my left shoulder is the result of a spirit guide trying to tell me something essential to the healthy flow of energy up and down my chakras, then I need to stop wondering and start working. Terms like Angel and Spirit Guide are just vocabulary words for something abstract so we can discuss an experience with others. Native Americans related to the Divine through the Earth and explained stuff using animal imagery. To me, it's the same as Santa Claus. There may not be a real man at the North Pole in a red suit, but there is certainly a Santa energy as
Francis Pharcellus Church explained to Virginia years ago in the New York Sun.
Back in when I was getting my DNA activated in Tahoe, the practitioner noticed that I have a spirit guide beside me in those very dark places in my soul. The trouble I've had with the concept all these years is that my spirit guide is a Beaver so any time I start wondering what to do about the pain in my shoulder from an energetic perspective - I come back around to the notion that when my soul is trapped in a dark place, all I can rely on my Beaver to guide me safely toward balance and harmony.
For someone whose mind goes straight to sex whenever June says, "Ward, you were very hard on the Beaver last night," having a Beaver for a spirit guide prohibits a serious conversation. But maybe that's the point, after all - and maybe that's why I'm fixated on the guy who won't talk to me. The ability to process energy thoroughly and effectively is essential to connecting with the Divine which is essential to being a conscious creator in your own life. If Tantra, or the left hand path as it's known in Yogaspeak, is a path designed by the universe expressly so that people who live in the Real World - going to work, dealing with responsibilities, obligations and miscellaneous Earthly aggravations as opposed to being a vegan and meditating all day in precise yoga postures - then perhaps this pain in my left shoulder is a manifestation of my Beaver saying that if I want mind blowing orgasms, I need to be a progressive political activist and writer.