I'm not writing for Black Magpie on Saturdays anymore. I'm switching off Mondays with Lisa from That's Why which is good because I simply cannot and will not sustain a focus on politics anymore. Instead, I'm preparing for Armageddon which will be coming any day now if the midterm predictions are an indication. I remind myself that I was afraid that Ronald Reagan was going to kill us all in a nuclear war and that didn't happen. We're just stuck in pile of Bull Shit that has been trickling down on us from those rich bastards for thirty years.
What else is there to say?
I maintain that all the best thing to do under the circumstances is focus on raising our consciousness individually which will, in turn, raise planetary consciousness and perhaps, in another thousand years, we'll have a peaceful, harmonious civilization. Like Ghandhi said: Be the change you want to see in the world
There could be other changes afoot because I skipped my period. I haven't skipped a period in years, and being 51, it may be time for my periods to start skipping. But it may not have anything to do the that Change. Could be because I've been going on and off the pill for some months due to changes in my health insurance prescription plan and since I'm not what you'd call Active these days, I wasn't concerned about birth control. So maybe that irregularity led to this irregularity. It's puzzling, however, and turned my attention toward change in general.
That man who won't talk to me is now the man who won't see me. That's a change, but I'm pretty sure he won't see me because he thinks nothing ever changes. It's true that our essential nature doesn't change, but everyone evolves - unless they are stuck. I'm coming to the conclusion that he's stuck, which is actually the same conclusion I reached this time last year. Last year, it made me angry. This year it is simply one more sad fact of life.
Meanwhile, an investor is supposed to be looking at the apartment this afternoon. I've made substantial progress in the sorting and packing department, so the place looks fine - but this new development takes moving home to Austin out of the conceptual stage and puts in firmly in Reality. Consequently, I'm starting to get anxious about this impending, major change -specifically finding a job.
There are some institutional loose ends here that need to be addressed, but for the most part, I'm exactly where I need to be right now. I just wish things were different with that man. I keep telling myself that there's nothing I can say or do to convince him to take a step into new territory - but part of me believes that if I could come up with exactly the right words, he'd respond. But that's not true for me and him anymore than it's true for America and The Teabaggers. Which brings us back to forgetting about the wider world for a while and getting my own world in order.
It's just hard to accept that sometimes things are doomed to stay fucked up, and I'll never really understand why. I can have theories, but I'll never really understand. And you never know. Maybe he'll notice there's a change in the air and come around. A girl can hope.
No time for moping, however. Now that the apartment is as clean as it's getting for a while, I've got to figure out something inspirational to say over at Black Magpie. Plus VeryMissMary is in the hospital with Bacterial Pneumonia. I'm putting together a care package of organic fruit for her since she'll be in isolation for a while with nothing to eat except hospital food.
Velvet has also asked for a Halloween Care Package that includes glow sticks and bling for his Ali G costume. I have a feeling he's aiming to be the King of the Halloween party this year too. I have a feeling that's not going to change for a few more years.
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