I've been having fun writing stuff across fundraising materials sent by the Obama campaign or the DNC, stuffing them in the postage paid envelopes kindly provided, and sending them straight back to the sender at their own expense. The return address is #OWS or Occupy!
I opened a solicitation today from the Obama campaign that wanted me to check a box saying I believed we were seeing changes like a rebuilding a Fair Economy for the Middle Class. I wrote:
Obama = Oil & Gas Industry, banksters + military. That's all that would fit. Last week, I sent one back to the DNC saying: NO CASH FOR CORPORATE BITCHES. At least the postal workers will see it.
It will be interesting to see how all of this Occupying develops over the winter. January is busy with Occupy the Courts on January 20 to mark the anniversary of Citizens United, as well as Occupy Congress on January 17 and Occupy the United Nations, an Indigenous Day of Resistance, on January 27 in San Francisco. In the spring, we'll see Occupy AIPAC in DC at the beginning of March, the National Occupy Washington, NOW DC at the end of March, and worldwide General Strike in recognition of May Day.
I will be watching with interest, and sending a few bucks here and there like I always do - but for now, my activism will be limited to occupying the mail box. It's inspiring to see thousands of people filling the street in a united call for justice, but the truth is that I'm afraid of being jostled in the crowd and hurting my arm. The shoulder is better, for sure, but the best I can say about it is that it's tolerable which is great as far as my daily life is concerned but not so great for massive demonstrations - particularly when so many cops are swinging their clubs and driving mopeds into people. That's a scene I prefer to avoid.
If my search for a permanent home for Velvet and me develops the way I hope, I'll be spending the spring renovating our new digs anyway. I put in a bid on an apartment yesterday, and if I get it, there is work to be done. It's across the street from that little cutie with the green counters. After some thought, I decided it was a better value for a number of reasons. Most importantly, I'd have the river view from my bedroom window. I'd be able to watch the rising sun color the Palisades and the sunset over the George Washington Bridge.
Little Cutie is in the building blocking my view of the bridge, but there is still plenty of sky and if the view were any nicer, I couldn't afford the apartment. The cool thing about this place is that it's substantially less money than Little Cutie so that even though it needs work to make it into a functioning 2 bedroom, when everything is said and done, I'll have a space that suits my personal taste instead of one that suited the people who lived there before- and it will still be less money. My mother will come up for a few weeks to boss around the contractors. She's fixed and flipped 20 properties. I have a feeling we'll have an argument or two since she likes to economize with an eye toward making money on the flip where I prefer to personalize my space - but since I really may want to sell this apartment to the yuppies that move into this neighborhood for the school district, I'm inclined to listen to my mother right now.
I'm also inclined to think that Jon-El Williams likes me a lot. He came over yesterday afternoon and when he was fixing to leave, he gave me a run down of his schedule for the next couple of weeks. It may be that he's so accustomed telling a woman his schedule from being married that he went there out of habit, and I'm still acutely aware that people who are going through divorces often fall into relationships that repeat dysfunctional patterns. Now that I'm thinking about it, I feel the same way about a relationship with him as I do about an apartment - I want one that suits me, not the people who lived there before.
He didn't have much time the other day since he had to meet his kids at 6:00, but it was plenty of time to determine that It's Still Twue. Frankly, it's so Twue that I'm a bit unsettled. I suspect that he's unsettled too because (1) he said that fitting together as well as he and I do is rare and (2) he left without his wallet and his keys. I figure that a man has to be comfortable with and discombobulated by a woman to leave his wallet and keys in her apartment.
That Narcissist was so hateful and suspicious, and Buzz Kill is so anxious and paranoid that neither one of them would ever forget his wallet or his keys, much less both. The main reason I'm aware of repeating dysfunctional patterns is because I repeated a lifetime of dysfunction with The Narcissist. You can clearly see me looking for external validation in every single relationship prior to The Narcissist - but especially in romantic relationships like all the college fiancés most specifically The Man from San Antone, and of course, with Buzz Kill. I made these boyfriends into judges and then I gave them the power to stifle my voice and my creativity. My mother had that power, too.
I'm satisfied that I'm not repeating any dysfunctional patterns right now - not at work, or with the new home and especially not with Jon-El Williams. However, I do see indications that I'm becoming attached. I surely think he's about as cute as a man can be, and from what I know about him so far, I admire and respect him. But we haven't known each other long, and the fact is that my response is most likely due to a potent combination of oxytocin and vasopressin - hormones that facilitate attachment. The best research on this phenomenon was done, in my view, by Helen Fisher at Rutgers, and is presented in the article Romantic Love: an fMRI study of a Neural Mechanism for Mate Choice. For a more popular explanation, read I Get a Kick Out of You or The Science of Love from Your Amazing Brain.
Now that I'm officially smitten, I may be repeating a hormonal pattern that I first discovered during the Ashley Madison Experiment when I wound up attached to a totally unsuitable asshole or two. Very likely I'm also repeating patterns by looking to intellectualize this experience and turn it into something cognitive when it's unarguably socio-emotional and physical. We'll just have to wait and see how this situation develops over the winter, too.
During this development phase, I'm inclined to listen to Nina Simone talking about Freedom from Fear.
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- Cocktails at Cafe Lux, Part 2
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- Occupy the Mail Box and A Few Words from Nina Simo...
- The Intersection of the Political and the Personal...
- It's Twue! It's Twue!
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