Why We Wax and Me

One of the nice things about being a Menopausal Stoner is that when we were kids, we watched the Sixties on TV. Friends and Family may have gone to Peace Marches or to do volunteer work for local social or political causes - and sometimes they took us along.

There were so many things going on back then that it was hard to absorb and process them all at once - but they were all there on the TV news: The Civil Rights Movement, The Democratic Convention in Chicago, Women's Liberation, Sexual Liberation, Make Love not War, The War The War and The War, Woodstock, The Beatles, with a Man on the Moon every now and then thrown in for kicks.

I read somewhere that once kids determine a role for themselves within the family, they begin look beyond their life at home and at school to the larger outside world. It was during this time - like when we were around eight to twelve years old - that we received a steady diet of the Nightly News. By the time we were teenagers, we had heard "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country," even if only on TV. Then we saw our country shoot four college students at Kent State.

I thought for sure we'd all die in a nuclear war. We didn't. But as we've gotten older, we've had an opportunity to synthesize the messages coming at us from all directions back then into a personal philosophy.

Before I agreed to be interviewed for "Why We Wax", I was already thinking about all the social chaos back then, and feminism in particular, because I had been puzzled by something a charming man of my acquaintance had done. He was standing right next to me in my kitchen while I struggled on my tip toes to reach a wine glass. Where I come from, he should have reached it for me without a comment. My mother and I discussed the situation and concluded that since he has always lived up here in the North and is a little bit younger than me, he must have been at college with women who considered themselves feminists and reprimanded men for daring to suggest they weren't capable of simple tasks like reaching glasses and carrying bags. Women in Texas are different. I can't remember any woman ever blaming a man's behavior on his attitude about women. An asshole is an asshole no matter what the reason. I imagined that if Ann Richards were on that dove hunt with Dick Cheney she'd have knocked him in the head with the butt of her rifle and called him a moron while everyone else held off the Sheriff until Dick's blood alcohol level dropped. My Granny the Ho hadn't even heard of Feminism when she cut bald spots all over the head of her third husband. She just took care of business.

So I had already been thinking a lot about feminism before I was interviewed for Why We Wax, and then I started considering sexual pleasure and Brazilian bikini waxes from a feminist perspective. During the interview, one of the producers asked if I thought some women get them just because their husbands or boyfriends want them to. I answered that as I recall, Gloria Steinem had once said every woman in America is one man away from welfare - so I could see how some women might feel compelled to get waxed for someone else's benefit.

For me, though, great sex is my right and privilege as a human being. I don't know if I think that because of the Women's Movement or because of the Sexual Revolution brought about by the Pill or because sensuality runs deep in my Celtic blood. I've been dedicated to reintegrating healthy sexuality into my life since I got divorced last year, and orgasms are a top priority. My first Brazilian may have resulted from a complete misunderstanding at my favorite Korean nail salon, but once I got one, I learned that sex really is better with a Brazilian. If it's my right to have the best sex possible, and having a Brazilian makes it better - then having a Brazilian is, for me, a Feminist Imperative.