Sunday, November 23, 2008

Solitary Holiday

I've elected to spend Thanksgiving alone. Velvet will be with Buzz Kill over in Brooklyn with some family friends. They are a nice family, but I'm glad to miss the whole thing because the wife is one of those trust fund kids who lives in an Alternate Universe. Some years ago - before Velvet was born - Buzz Kill and I attended a birthday party at her father's East Hampton "cottage" which is down the street from Steve Martin's or Billy Joel's or somebody like that. I joked to everyone in Texas that I felt like I had been trapped in the J. Crew catalog. Low and Behold, a couple of months later, the J. Crew catalog appeared in my mailbox using that very same wrap around porch and lawn for location shots. They even used the birthday boy's vintage Toyota Land Cruiser in one of the photos.

So I don't mind that divorce has eliminated that social connection. I have invitations from friends, and I'm cooking anyway so we have leftovers which in my view is the best thing about Thanksgiving. Velvet will surely want a pecan pie or two. But like Greta Garbo in Grand Hotel, I want to be alone.

Lest anyone think I am not appropriately "in the spirit," please be advised that the terrace is festooned with colored lights. New ones multi-colored strands wrapped around the white twinkle lights that have been there since the summer. I am as jolly as anyone. I simply want to be quiet.

I suppose this solitude is an exercise in getting ready for the Empty Nest. I'd be more concerned about it except down in Houston, my sister in law decided Thanksgiving Dinner is a pain in the ass and is having a cocktail party instead. Not a bad idea. My mother is thinking about painting the living room ceiling. My brother and my dad have to work. Bubba (that's baby brother in the language of the Nascar) always has to shoot some football game on Thanksgiving so for years my folks have met him at a Black Eyed Pea near where ever he has to be.

I've been thinking about going to a movie by myself since I've never done that before. My mother wouldn't permit it because when she was a kid, she went to the movies alone and some perv sat down beside her and exposed himself.

With all the encouragement from the other night, I should write the book. I got side tracked from NaNoWriMo for several familiar reasons - the most important being that I have to deal with traumatic childhood shit and I don't feel like doing that when Velvet is around since sometimes I sob until snot runs down my face during the process. He was supposed to go over to Buzz Kill's tonight but now he's decided to finish his college applications (!) instead which means we'll be watching the season finale of True Blood.

I know what this sudden interest in finishing the applications is about. He's interested in going out with a female. He's been interested in this young woman for a while, but he doesn't see her often because she goes to a girls' school on the East Side. He knows her through friends that have mostly all gone away to college. As it happens, however, he ran into her last night and he not only remembered her name - he got her number. She even called him this morning while we were at Trader Joe's. I know damn well he wants his long weekend free and clear to pursue this young woman who he wisely said reminds him of me. Unfortunately that was after I said, "Oh I remember her - the cute one whose name you always forget? Likes to party, kind of ditzy?"
"Yeah, Mom. She reminds me of you except she's more stable."

Little Bastard.


Blogger Comrade Kevin said...

I don't miss Thanksgiving with my Mom's side of the family ever. I stopped going at sixteen because it was so unpleasant and so dysfunctional. Even as a child I could sense that there was something terribly wrong with the proceedings.

Part of it too is that I have to admit I resent my Mother for making me go to a gathering that was full of tension, arguments, and insults---not love. My mother either is a masochist or a naive optimist to put herself through another family gathering. If it were up to me, I'd just write these people off altogether and feel much better for doing it. They certainly aren't "family".

November 24, 2008 at 8:47 AM  
Blogger Gail said...

Hi Trish-
Well, ummmmmmm, alone huh? Okay.

I cannot disagree with any of your rationale. It, you, all makes perfect sense. I guess this being my favorite holiday and all I want 'everyone' I know to be surrounded with what ever family and love they have. Sometimes, we carry that in ourselves, privately, and that's good too.
I love the image of the new lights on your terrace. I will think of you sparkling with them on Thanksgiving, yes sparkling. :-)


November 24, 2008 at 9:52 AM  
Blogger PENolan said...

I have complete confidence that my entire ability to understand people was fucked up by spending so many holidays with my dad's side of the family. Alcholics to the left of me; perverts on the right - all pretending everything is A-Okay.

Velvet and I got a 13lb turkey. Meanwhile, I have two dates scheduled with the Artist from the South of France. He's back from harvesting olives on his family's farm ;)

November 24, 2008 at 11:35 PM  
Blogger Kitty said...

I had to laugh - that's what you get for being a smart mother - a smart-arse kid. I hope he manages to meet up with the girl - if he's that keen there must be something a little *special* about her.

I'll be on my own for some of Christmas - nobody else seems to understand that I don't actually mind.


November 25, 2008 at 4:19 AM  

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