Sunday, April 13, 2008

Stoners of the World Unite!

Now that my mother has looked at this blog (gasp!), I find myself compelled to do something with a purpose. Menopausal Stoners for The American Way, for example. I'll think of a name later. In the meantime, I'll be working on the Menopausal Stoners Manifesto.

In an attempt to find out more about Blogland, I've been drifting about following links to other blogs. Lots of interesting writing out there - and lots and lots of the same bunch of BS you get watching and reading The News. Like anybody knows what's really going on.

Which brings me back to Bokonism. During all my travels, Bokonism is the only philosophy/theology/cosmology that continues to make perfect sense. Ergo: Menopausal Stoners are Bokonists. Or witches, but don't tell anyone. People absolutely don't understand about witches. Witches especially don't run around spelling women "womyn." Some people may have tons of fun with Womyn stuff, but to me it's more like a feminist fiesta. No problem with that, but it's not the same as an individual focusing her energies in the privacy of her own home during certain phases of the moon. Some people would call it "prayer;" others might call it devil worship, but they are dumb as dirt. For Menopausal Stoner purposes, it's simply personal ritual. In my case, and the case of my cousin in Tahoe and of The Rebbe Mohammed McCrory, one of Menopausal Stoner's founding members who is now lost but hopefully safe somewhere, it is simply the path of our Celtic ancestors before those nasty Romans chased everyone into the woods and called us witches.

*Aside* In the beginning, The Rebbe and I considered calling Menopausal Stoners "Post-Feminist Pothead Floozies" or PFPF for short. Then I saw a bumper sticker that said "I'll be a Post-feminist in the post Patriarchy." Point taken.

In real life, I write Quaker on all our forms because 1) I like the Quakers and have always had fun at the Hippy Dippy Quaker Camp my son went to in Vermont and 2) Quakers don't get drafted. With George W. Bush as president, Americans need to protect their children.

That Bokonism is based on a fictional character in Kurt Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle does not make it any less valid than any other religion - most of which are based on fiction and legend anyway. At least I've read Cat's Cradle twice and most Christians I know haven't read The Bible except under duress. This tendency can no doubt be traced to the fact that someone is forever thumping his/her version of The Bible's truth in our faces so that when the time comes to actually read the damn thing, who wants to? It's already been shoved up our collective ass by somebody like Mel Gibson. Who wants to be associated with that foolishness? Not Menopausal Stoners, that's for sure.

Now that I'm on a mission to link with stoners and alternative thinkers everywhere so that we can indeed do something - like get Stephen Colbert's attention since I believe for sure we can be funnier than the Marijuana lobbyist than that guy who was on earlier this month - I'm hoping that Mary Kathryn aka The Rebbe Mohammed McCrory and her buddy The Rebbe Schmokenbaum will show up. Mary Kathryn is the Mayor of Vicodinville. I am merely Head of the Office of Buzz Management and DJ.

Vicodinville is a lot like William Faulkner's Yoknapatawpha County.


Kitty said...

Your mother has read your blog? :-O My brother has read mine, but not my mother. I can see how one's mother reading would spur one on. Hence mine not seeing mine.

I gather Bokonists can connect by pressing the soles of their feet together.

Consider your soles pressed.


Anonymous said...

Good morning, my little petunia,

I am happy to find this post on theology and the American way. Lest I be portrayed as rigid, suffice it to say that I have reevaluated and find you firmly entrenched in the realm of the Whole Shebang. However, your Big Mamou still needs some work

I have always believed that the Wiccan way is on par with The Great Triad, just a little more feminist, and a tad misguided in their reliance on the moon. As all intelligient people know, the Dog Star rules the heavens.


SB Gypsy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SB Gypsy said...

You've been blogrolled, found you thru shakesville!

Oops, no, that would be Blondesense!

The Fat Lady Sings said...

Boy do you have the right idea! Sign me up, sister. Always nice to find like minds.

And a big shout out to any of your readers stuck in the south (are any of your readers stuck in the south?). If so - we oughta have ourselves a convention!

Myst0nia said...

Hey Sistah!! I haven't even read one of your blog posts yet, but I know already that we have SO much in common!!

myst0nia from Austin, Texas

pixie said...

hehehe well, hello there! a menopausal stoner blogger named Trish (here in Austin) turned me on to your site and we're totally loving it!

write on!

;p pixie

Red State Blues said...

So happy to have found you. I hope you don't mind, but I blogwhored you over at our place.

We hope you'll visit BlondeSense often.

BlondeSense Liz said...

I finally blogrolled you today, kiddo. I am menopausal but not as stoner as I should be. You must come to LI this July to meet up with blondesense gals.

the3LB said...

Busy Busy Busy! ;)

pixie said...

ok, i been mulling this over, we definitely need an austin chapter of menopausal stoners.

P. E. Nolan said...

I'm hoping to visit there myself this summer. Lots of old buddies never left Austin - and are pagan gardeners themselves.

verymissmary said...

The Rebbe Mohammed McCrory is indeed safe, alive and well. Spotted on the Upper West Side of Manhattan ordering custom kippot for Bar Mitzvah.

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