Solitary Holiday Denoument

As it happens, Velvet wandered in at about 9:00 so I did not remain solitary. I wasn't strictly sober, and I'm pretty sure he wasn't either. He knocked down my weed grower in Vermont idea right away saying with absolute certainty that it's just as illegal to grow weed in Vermont as it is illegal to grow it here. In my mind, that's a crying shame. It should be absolutely legal to grow weed in Vermont and in Oregon - but nobody ever consults me on important issues.

Last night was not the first time I thought it would be a good idea to move to Vermont. I tried to talk Buzz Kill into it for years, but he wouldn't leave his mother. That's one explanation, anyway. He's not much of a risk taker these days, although many moons ago not long before we met, Buzz Kill used to climb frozen waterfalls for kicks. He and some buddies hitch hiked to British Columbia to climb some big glacier. Buzz Kill was a rugged hot dog back in the day.

When he came in, Velvet was very chatty and bouncing off the walls because he had two date possibilities for the night. I was resting, so he plopped up in the bed with me, played annoying music on his Blackberry - first "Smoke that Tumbleweed," which I'll admit is funny even though it's awfully raunchy and should never be played around your mother. The other one, "Technologic" by Daft Punk, definitely made my head hurt.

Velvet was in very high spirits due to having two girls calling him in one night and started dancing laying down on the bed so he wound up looking like Timmy on South Park except in real life Velvet looks much more like Evil Spock. Now that I think about it, Evil Spock might dance a lot like Velvet since no matter how you slice it, Spock is a geek. Velvet used to move so beautifully that I thought he'd be some sort of performer. He has the ability to tell a whole story in a gesture - I would wax poetic about it except for there was no balletic pathos involved. More like Jim Carey.
When Velvet started taking Mime in third grade, he dragged himself around the living room pretending to have been bitten by a rattle snake. So imagine Evil Spock, curlier more stylish hair, dragging himself across the floor like he'd been bit by a rattle snake, thrashing about like Timmy.

No wonder the privileged girls from the East Side are chasing him. It's a little bit like that movie Metropolitan and Velvet would be the poor kid from the West Side. Luckily for Velvet, his father pays the child support (sort of) and his mother is indulgent, so he has some disposable income for party supplies and taxis. I would say he has money enough for weed, but it upsets my mother when I say things like that.

In the end, he disappointed one female and the other one disappointed him. That's life and love for sure. It was a good thing Velvet came home because I may have gotten looped and started Drunk Dialing. I was nostalgic for a couple of old friends - must have been nostalgic about a lot of things since I was remembering Gayle the Hillbilly Hustler fondly. That's holidays for you.