Sunday, January 18, 2009

The Dating Habits of Old Farts


While cruising Match.com this weekend, I was struck with the notion that I have apparently turned into a dried up old hag.

Who is telling me that I have become a dried up old hag?
About half the men on Match.com who are in their late 40s and early 50s.

Men my own age and even older have set the upper end of their age parameters at about 45 years old. They aren't even looking to breed. Over half of them are divorced with kids of their own. The others have never been married and are Not Sure if they want kids. Either way, I'm thinking they wouldn't know how to deal with a Real Woman - especially since they also indicate that they are looking for a female who is Slender or Athletic and Toned. Some of these guys are clearly delusional because they have not noticed their own beer guts and double chins - or maybe it's that pesky Double Standard rearing it's ugly head again. We see this Double Standard clearly on news programs where men are gray, bald, fat, frumpy and/or generally unattractive while women newscasters are almost exclusively young, thin and well-coiffed.

This trend is giving me an attitude. I removed 200 profiles of men between 46 and 53 who live within five miles of my zip code because of the age issue.

Despite striking out on Match.com, I remain optimistic about the Summer Boyfriend Reality Show. Being a confirmed and committed Bokonist, I know that things happen the way they are supposed to happen. It may be that men are no longer coming along every five minutes like the bus - or maybe they do and I'm waiting on something more stylish and stimulating than a dang bus.

One thing is certain: I'm not getting stuck in a Viagramobile with an arrogant old fart.

Real MatchMan found this very morning in my "Who's Viewed Me" file.
He's 60 years old and also has a Harley. I'd consider him if he'd go out with women his own age

17 comments:

yellowdog granny said...

i haven't had sex in 23(24 this summer)years...don't miss it an iota..some bastid is going to want me to give up my remote for a piece of ass?..I don't think so.

PENolan said...

Is that remote for your TV or your vibrator?

Crowscious said...

It must be really annoying.. but it's the same way here in India. With arranged marriages n all that. The ads all have guys who want "homely, educations, thin, fair woman". This basically means they want someone who has a degree but should sit at home anyways, and she has to be light skinned, skinny and submissive as well. I say, f*ck that! I understand how it feels. It just happens to much younger people over here. :(

Gail said...

Hi there -
Your reality based humor is the best. There is such a double standard.
I color my gray and use 'sheer cover' makeup to 'look younger. My husband is almost completely gray and I don't think he uses make-up of any kind except on Halloween and he is considered distinguished just as he is.
It is what it is or isn't. :-)
You I might add, are beautiful.
Love Gail
peace....

PENolan said...

Thank you, Gail. Crowscious - men and women have troubles the world over. My Gay and Lesbian friends believe the problem comes from having to mate with a different species.

dissed said...

"Different species." It seems that way, doesn't it? I think men are fascinating, mysterious creatures. They look and smell and feel great. They stop making sense when the prospect of sex enters the picture and reality sort of goes out the window. It's very unfortunate. I miss having one around.

Fixer said...

Either way, I'm thinking they wouldn't know how to deal with a Real Woman - especially since they also indicate that they are looking for a female who is Slender or Athletic and Toned.

Yeah, have EMS on standby. Heh ...

Fixer said...

And about the guy in the pic. Mrs. F pulls up next to a middle aged guy in a little red sports car and she leans out the window, looks at him seductively, and says "Sorry to hear about your dick." Heh ...

PENolan said...

Fixer, You guys at Alternate Brain crack me up. Enjoy Inauguration day

Lisa said...

Stay confident and keep weeding out the delusional. The double standard is so tired. Smart, confident men want women who know what they want, know how to give it as good as they get it and are nearing or at the age where babies aren't part of the equation.

Lisa said...

Also, what did you think of Tulane? She's been accepted, but I think it might be too expensive.

Liberality said...

men (shakes head in dismay and bewilderment), who needs them? Ok, I guess I do, sometimes. Enjoy yourself alone enough and some guy is bound to come around to mess that all up you know.

PENolan said...

Excellent point, Liberality. As for Tulane, Lisa, I'll write it on your post about the college trip.
T

Kitty said...

Well now I'm intrigued ... can one get a vibrator with a remote control? My my ... the potential for fun that that little contraption could produce.

Men have raging double standards. Most of them, anyway.

x

Jaliya said...

What's a Bokonist? -- Never heard of it! I suppose I could do a web search, but PENolan, I'd much rather wait for your answer ;-D

I'm laughing so hard at this post and its responses that I'm dangerously close to peeing myself, and my glasses keep flinging themselves off my face. Proves one thing: I'm also dangerously close to being an Old Fart. Fine by me.

There's an Old Fart who's the love of my life ... We met when he was 50 and I was nearly 43. I still had a hot little bod -- shock of shocks, 'cause exercise to me means (a) makin' whoopee, (b) laughing myself senseless, and (c) unwrapping a bar of dark chocolate, with the occasional walkies and yogic contortion tossed into the mix ;-D

Suddenly, two years ago, I started to *age*. I mean, it started to *show*. Ditto my man. We utterly adore one another and we have been outrageously blessed. He comes home in his working clothes -- suit, fedora, the whole swanky works -- and before I've had a chance to look him over from head to foot, he's shucking off the threads and pulling on his sweats and undershirt. He's getting a belly; my bum is heading for the floor. So are my boobs, as of the last month or so. Oh, well, Time is having its way with us ...

Life goes on, doesn't it, and here are a couple of happy Old Farts-to-be sitting back and deciding to enjoy the ride. May we all be blessed with as much ease as Life is willing to give us ...

PENolan said...

Jaliya, I've been meaning to write an explanation of Bokonism for some time - and now I have a reason to do it.

God(dess) bless each and every one of us in our journey to fartdom.

Diane said...

this is SOOOO true! you are great!

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