Sunday, March 15, 2009

Audio Pareidolia and Me

There is a goofy video making the rounds these days that illustrates a phenomenon known as Audio Pareidolia wherein people listen to something then hear words and patterns that aren't' really there. Here is the real version of O Fortuna from Carl Orff's Carmina Burana. Someone on YouTube thoughtfully provided the real lyrics and the English translation so we can see what is actually being sung.

Here is the version making the rounds. If you set aside the fact that the original lyrics are in Latin and simply listen with an English ear, these alternate lyrics make perfect sense.

I ran across this delightful tidbit over at Bruce's Blog. I can always count on Bruce to post something goofy that perfectly illustrates all manner of human beliefs. Aside from being good for a laugh, these videos resonate with me right now because they show the power of the mind to take a random experience and find a pattern or meaning that, while plausible, is in fact completely off base.

As it happens, the real lyrics reflect my current mood with striking accuracy except that I used to believe Buzz Kill himself was the oppressor not fate. Looking at the alternative lyrics, we see perhaps that fate is nonsense - although that could just be the valiant attempts of a pathetic human mind to find meaning in all the bullshit.

I have misinterpreted data before and come up with totally erroneous conclusions - generally because I am either looking through the proverbial Rose Colored Glasses and refuse to acknowledge something (or someone - like That Narcissist, for example) is in fact as awful as it appears to be. Other times I'm bumming out and see malicious intent where all parties could, in fact, be innocent of sinister motives. They may be stupid assholes, but they aren't members of a vast conspiracy. My recent conviction that Buzz Kill and Vagina Dentata are trying to render me irrelevant in Velvet's life falls under that category.

The fact is that I will never be completely irrelevant to Velvet no matter how much Vagina Dentata would like to see me burn in Hell. I may be guilty of coming up with Windmill cookies and an octopus in boots or knees and berries when in reality all we have is ordinary, typical family crap that goes along with divorces.

I do think I have a legitimate concern that Buzz Kill has gotten off very easily on the teenage discipline front because Velvet elected to avoid weekends with Buzz Kill. The one time Velvet went over there in January after the grounding debacle ended in Velvet telling Buzz Kill to fuck off and Buzz Kill getting irate enough to grab poor Velvet around the neck in what must have been a feeble attempt to choke off the defiance. Velvet left the premises and came straight home since Velvet has enough sense to avoid out of control bullshit.

Buzz Kill isn't normally violent and Velvet was intentionally provoking him. Buzz Kill and Velvet had a session with Velvet's therapist to clear the air, but this nasty scene perpetuated my being in charge of all the day to day parenting while Buzz Kill gets to arrange spontaneous lunches in China Town. God (or The Dog, if you prefer) knows I am not the only mother in the world who has had to deal with this foolishness from an ex-husband. To his credit, Buzz Kill has been adequately involved in Velvet's college application process, and under the terms of the divorce, Buzz Kill has to pay 75% of all college expenses.

I believe I'll insist on putting the college money in an escrow account when we sell the apartment so that Buzz Kill can't pay off his debts with Velvet's college money. It's my considered opinion that Buzz Kill drove the business into the ground because it was the only way he could get his mother out of the business without actually telling her that he didn't like having her as a business partner especially since she insisted on being the CEO and dressing like Alexis Colby. She even had faux antelope carpet in her office.

That's Joan Collins as Alexis Colby in Dynasty, not Vagina Dentata. Here is Vagina Dentata:

See - I'm not making this shit up.


Gail said...


my, my, my this is good stuff. Those video clips of such different versions of the same thing is amazing - yet, I just expereinced the same thing at the work thing you know about. Mind boggling.

Your photos? perfect. Vagina Dendeta is scary to look at. eesh

and NO ONE can dismiss you, not in thislife time or a gazillion life times - you and Velvet are a TEAM, a PACT, a UNION, A FOREVER, an ETERNITY.............
so Buzz Kill can Buzz off and take his mother with him.
I made that little squeak when I read that Buzz Kill physically hurt, or tired to hurt Velvet. I then felt the rage of Sigourney Weaver in Aliens.

Love Gail

Kitty said...

Our Court Order gives my ex the pleasure of our kids' company every other weekend. This is becoming difficult for our daughter, whom he does not allow the freedom to see her friends. I smell a rebellion in the air - not sure when it'll hit, but it's coming. Our son is too young yet - we'll see how it goes on his score.

Since the communication between us is zero (unless you count insulting emails) there is no scope for adult discussion on the issues involved. In front of the kids I keep my counsel, but they're bright, and one day they'll figure that me saying nothing actually says a lot more than me saying something.

I think you're wise to make BK put the college money in a fund up front - his track record surely doesn't make you confident that you could rely on regular injections of capital for Velvet's college education?

I LOVE that picture of Vagina Dentata. You have just made my weekend.


Liberality said...

oh my goodness! no indeed, you are not making that up! what is up with that head covering, er, whatever it is?

Comrade Kevin said...

I've noticed a theme your last few entries---the idea that we have a tendency to look for broad ideas and concepts that aren't there.

And I have to say that I'm enough of a romantic that I don't want to reduce mystery to a scientific precept. :)

PENolan said...

Ocasionally wishful thinking causes me to drastically misinterpret data. I consequently wind up on the wrong path - or maybe it's the right path for me and I still needed The Wish.

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