Thursday, August 20, 2009

Bull Shit Processing Units

Life, as presented in headlines, can be confusing sometimes. This morning on my home page I noticed a headline reading: Spector fears for his safety in prison, seeks transfer. I wondered if I had missed something from his town meeting the other day. When had Arlen Specter gone to prison, and for what? But it wasn't Arlen Specter at all. It was Phil Spector.

Some may believe Phil needed to be incarcerated for this Jewfro alone, and lest anyone takes issue with the term "Jewfro" please be advised that Urban Dictionary defines Jewfro:

An orgasm-inducing hairstyle worn by people of Jewish
descent. It consists of curly hair and is often large.

I can't say whether Mr. Spector's hair is his own in this photo. Apparently he is famous for wearing rugs. He's also famous for alarming guests at his mansion by waving guns. He is currently serving time for the murder of an actress named Lana, and he doesn't like it in prison where "they'll kill you for a 39-cent bag of soup." Since he is convicted of killing Lana for no reason at all, it's difficult to determine the nature of his complaint.
It's a bit disappointing, however, because I was hoping that something spectacular had occurred at a town meeting. Something like the Triumph of Reason - although looking at the matter now that I've had coffee, it seems unlikely that Arlen Specter would be jailed for insulting a dumb ass constituent.
The idea of detaining dumb asses, even briefly, for the foolishness that comes out of their mouths is appealing, however. Imagine a solemn bailiff in the corner of a Town Meeting, charged with the duty of removing any and all individuals who propagate "vile, contemptible nonsense," as Barney Frank said. There should probably be two categories for detainees - those who knowingly propagate Bull Shit for their own gain, such as lobbyists and media personalities, and those who hear the message spread by the aforementioned propagandists through miscellaneous venues and spit it out again. I call the second type Bull Shit Processing Units (BSPU) because they don't even realize that they are tools of Rich Assholes in the class war raging in America today. Bull Shit Processing Units hear an idea coming from some conservative fool on the TV or radio, and they must have seen it or heard it because it's highly unlikely that a BSPU has read a damn thing, then they turn it over in their heads a little while and regurgitate it as if they have informed opinions.
The very idea of Bull Shit Processing Units is so depressing that I may have to go back to bed, thanking my lucky stars that I live on the Upper West Side where the population has always been a little "red," by which I mean Communist not Republican. We even had Red Diaper Babies in this neighborhood.


Gail said...

Hi Trish-

He is a weird looking dude, for sure and I love the term "Jewfro"!! Great post Trish!!

Hey Trish!! - you are going to meet my boy tonight!!! I feel quite excited about all that. THank you so much for including him.

And, if I may. The MRI experience was horrid. Awful technician.
And I learned something. An MRI machine weighs 350 tons, yes, 350!! That is why MRI places are always in basements of buildings.

Love you

PENolan said...

350 tons? Lord have mercy.
As it happens, my brother in law was on the team of physicists who developed the MRI a million years ago. Looking forward to meeting your boy at KGB - sheesh, more reds!

Woody (Tokin Librul/Rogue Scholar/ Helluvafella!) said...

You don't get no sleep in the jailhouse, baby...(paraphrasing Rodney Crowell)

Don't do the crime if you can't do the time...

jadedj said...

Well, one thing is for sure...if Arlen WERE to go to prison, he'd have no worries...not even the horniest of inmates would butt fuck that guy.

PENolan said...

You guys never fail to make me smile.

Utah Savage said...

Another wonderful and funny post. I want all the Dems to start treating the BSPU's like Barney does.

PENolan said...

I do too, Utah. Daily.

intelliwench said...

Thanks for introducing the term/acronym BSPU. I will have many occasions to use it!

I, too, continue to await news that reason triumphs. It's going to be an awfully long wait, I fear.

(I would think that Phil Spector would be more offended at having to eat 39-cent bags of soup while in stir. Surely his ego gains something from the belief that someone actually would wish to do him harm.)

PENolan said...

Hey there Intelliwench - I think we've been waiting for Reason since Ronald Reagan got elected.

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