In keeping with Menopausal Stoners mission to bring more alternative sex concepts into the mainstream, I lifted this clip from BlondeSense:
For many of us, vibrators and other sex toys are ancient history. When I was in Houston back in the spring, however, I was compelled to point out to my mother that Walgreens had cleverly discrete vibrators on the shelves. Mom is uptight about sex stuff - most likely as a result of having so many stepfathers. Not that there was anything "wrong" with any of the stepfathers, per se, but Mother sometimes found it annoying that Granny the Ho was frequently so sexually intoxicated that she neglected her children. At least that's the way Mother sees it - could be Granny was making sure there were groceries on the table. Career options were limited for women in those days, and Granny worked as a seamstress at a department store when she was between husbands.
After Granny headed West in the mid-sixties, to Laguna Beach, CA where the substance abusing side of the family had settled, she worked in a car wash.
We had a stroke of luck week. A thunderstorm with an unusual amount of wind passed through the neighborhood snapping trees in half and everything. Central Park is still a mess, but our parking lot is cleaned up now. Fortunately, my little Subaru, fondly known as the Bird Shit Mobile, suffered no damage. Given that one of the trees we lost from our parking lot happened to be right in front of my car, I consider it particularly lucky that flying branches missed the Bird Shit Mobile. Birds always perched in the branches of that tree and shit on my car. You would think that a thunderstorm with that much wind and rain would be strong enough to dislodge the baked-on bird shit from the hood of my car, but No. That's how much bird shit regularly dropped on my car from the tree that fell down. It's always a shame to lose trees, but if one had to go, that one was a blessing.
We celebrate small blessings here at Menopausal Stoner World Headquarters - the world outside is simply too depressing otherwise.
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