Friday, October 30, 2009

Tigers and Lambs

I was looking for this video today because I'm trying to relate to another person's point of view. Experiencing another's perspectives can be tricky because we have to step outside of ourselves to do it. It's hard to step outside of yourself when the only way you can experience and understand the world is through your Self. We're so informed by our own perspectives that accepting another's point of view as valid is kind of like being in an Alternate Reality. If you can finally stand in that alternate reality (which is smack dab in that other person's moccasins), you might be able to pull your head out from up your ass long enough to learn something.

Specifically, I'm currently pondering the reasons why a certain individual will not talk to me. Meanwhile, Punch shared this observation in the comments following a post about Vampires over at Termites of Sin.
Polan (sic) ...taking care of kindred spirits is well within your skill level. I'm not avoiding you I just don't want to piss you off. I'm a lit fuse and you live in a powder keg. Why would i not avoid you? (just saying)
Point taken.

Now, I don't know Punch in real life and am never likely to have that experience since he is hell and gone in Florida. Nevertheless, his assessment of a virtual situation can be directly applied to Real Life and may accurately reflect the perspective of a certain individual who won't talk to me.

I can totally understand why said individual objected to my actions. From where I sat at the time, I was simply managing a situation here in my own Private Idaho. Whatever I said or did was essential to my process, and if it's one thing I've learned to respect even when I don't understand, it's my dang process. Occasionally, during the process, this part of my character is in charge, and she has been known to burn bridges. Actually, she tosses hand grenades and takes no prisoners. It may be picturesque, but it's not pretty.

It's like Sally Bold says. It's just the way I am. Like in The Tao of Pooh. I'm not a tiger by any means, but sometimes I imagine that a person might feel like he's been hit by Hurricane Trish. While I respect this perspective, an occasional storm is no reason to forget about going to the beach. Half the time, once the clean up is complete, the beach is better than it was in the first place.

In the midst of all this personal reflection, this clip came up and turned my thinking in a different direction. This scene scared the bejesus out of me the first time I saw it. It still does.

Brian and the Baron would have been on the first train to Auschwitz because they were homos. Teabaggers hold posters of Barack Obama with a Hitler mustache while their patron saints Rush, Glenn and Sarah would happily exterminate all the oddwads, queers and weirdos they can round up. Which means, to use the psychological vernacular, that Teabaggers are projecting their own xenophobic impulses onto Barack Obama. Their fears have nothing to do with Health Care or Big Government. They are reacting to the hate swelling in their own hearts. And they are following leaders who would cheerfully exterminate anyone who doesn't look and think like themselves. Seen in this light, Rush et al are not simply loud mouths to be ridiculed. They are threats to humanity who really need to pull their heads out from their asses.

How many of us would they stuff into the oven?

But enough about social upheaval - back to the issue of the moment at Menopausal Stoners World Headquarters on Central Park West.

I get it that I willfully stuck a flame to his powder keg and the resulting explosion left us both singed and shaken. Explosions can be destructive and disturbing. Sometimes, though, destruction is necessary like when lightening strikes the forest. The fire clears away the underbrush that chokes and stifles new growth. It lets in the sunshine and fresh air. Explosions can be scary, but sometimes they light up the sky. The results are often be brilliant.

I've never been so afraid of getting hurt that I won't take a risk. Maybe fools do rush in - but every now and then, the possibilities are worth taking a leap of faith.


Lou said...

That scene freaked me out too when I first saw it. Scary stuff.

It sure is hard to step outside yourself - I struggle with it everyday.

Comrade Kevin said...

I miss you, Nolan. Sorry I've been so busy that I haven't had a chance to reply as promptly as before.

And regarding therapy, if I can find someone to take a sliding scale, I intend to get back in it myself.

Gail said...

Hi Trish-

I step outside myself all the time - and I am not sure why it is easy for me to do that. I can see and feel from the other person's perspective.
This is a challenging post - requires a re-read. Your mind is so amazing.

Love you girl

PENolan said...

Gail, I think sometimes it is easier than others especially when the other person's truth is hard to swallow. I hope you do re-read this post because there's more to it now.

Lou, that scene is forever alarming.
Comrade, it's great to see you any time.

Liberality said...

I think the best part of being a spiritual person, one tries but does not always succeed of course, is that one does try to look at stuff from others' point of view. Not only that but to strive to build people up rather than knocking them down. It's really hard for me at times because I get stuck in my own reality.

Punch said...

Polan, chuckle
Thank you for seeing a comment of mine as worthy of thought. It is always difficult to be in the space of another, threapy is one way to begin to understand how another might feel or think. I could pour my heart out right now but who cares.
The one you really want to hear is the one not speaking with you, that sucks. I lived with that reality daily for too long a while, and finally one has to say, Phooey.
I give,
You win,
I'm the bad,
can i please have my hat back? I'll be going now.

The trick is
to really,
really mean it,
in your (one's) heart.
of fucking hearts
I miss her so and she does not even know i care.
and they wonder why the fuse is soooooo short. (chuckle)

PENolan said...

Liberality, I hope I qualify as a spiritual person.

Punch, the funny thing is that there are actually two fellows who each were upset by something he read about himself here on the blog. One gave as good as he got and kept rattling my cage from a distance even though I asked him to stop if he's wasn't going to talk to me. He didn't stop and still won't talk to me. I feel like a high school kid trying to convince my parents that I don't need to be grounded anymore.

In the other case, I was thoughtless and am sorry about that. Actually, he might be speaking to me but the last time we corresponded, he was still righteously indignant. I believe it's best that we remain separate, and we seem to need that anger.

Chances are that they will both eventually read this post and assume it's all about the one. It started out that way, but the other never left my mind. If he's been hovering around the periphery waiting for an apology, I hope reads the comments and sees that he finally got one.

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