Calling a Spade a Spade

Velvet is home for Spring Break. He got home Friday night, and by Saturday afternoon we had settled back into our usual cozy camaraderie. It was touch and go there, for a while, though because a young fellow returning from college is apparently morally compelled to make his mother's head explode.

I wasn't particularly concerned with his announcement that the guys over at the frat house with the six foot bong asked him to pledge. He told them that he promised his mother that he would get a 2.0 before he pledged anywhere, so now the guys are including him in their text blasts when the brothers are meeting at the library to study. Given my experience with Fraternities and Sororities at The University of Texas at Austin, I cringed at the word "pledge." In my mind, some of those assholes are very likely among the smug bastards sitting on the education commission dictating standards for Texas' text books. They were all particularly jolly when Ronald Reagan came to power - them in their Izods and Topsiders. My mother tried to calm me down at the time with the old adage, "give them enough rope." We have seen that with enough rope, these greedy fuckheads will not hang themselves. They will use the rope to tie us up and strangle us. George W is a frat house poster boy if there ever was one. But I digress.

As much as I hated the Greeks back at UT, I can see how kids at a frat house with a six foot bong may not be cut from the same cloth. Given the dedication Velvet is showing to his studies this semester, it looks to me like the fraternity - known around TreeHugger and the Big Beautiful Private School next door as "Crow" - could provide Velvet with the structure he lacked when he first came to college. It may seem a bit odd that a young man would find structure and academic support in the very same house where he was dubbed King of the Halloween Party as a result of his generally magnanimous nature being so enhanced when rolling on Ecstacy that he is like some guru with lightening fast dancing abilities. Here at Menopausal Stoners World Headquarters, we learn to accept unconventional eventualities long as they work out all right in the end. It's kind of like the coed skinny dipping at the Hippy Dippy Quaker Camp. It may seem counter intuitive at first glance, but in the end, the logic of it all is as harmonious as the music of the dang spheres.

I'm not so worried about the marijuana brownies in my refrigerator either. In fact, I'm thinking I might donate some to the Benefit for the International Gay Theatre Festival referenced over in the sidebar to be raffled off as a door prize.

Actually, the thing I'm really worried about is Velvet's developing social skills. As he tells the story, when he got on the bus to NYC at the Student Union at Big Beautiful Private School, he recognized an acquaintance among a small group of Big Black Guys. He thought he should offer to share his light vodka beverage with them, so he approached with the friendly greeting, "Hello, my Niggas."

When I inquired if it was considered socially acceptable for Skinny White Boys to greet a small group of Big Black Boys in such a manner, I was told by Velvet and Cupcake that it can be okay. You'll know pretty quick if it's acceptable because if it's unacceptable, the skinny white boy's ass will be beaten in short order. It seems to me that my child's cockiness has reached such heights that an asswhipping is in order - particularly given his 1.192 cumulative GPA. When I related this story to his "sister" last night on the way home from yoga, Gigi declared she would not be visiting her baby brother in the hospital.

It is important to note that in real life, (1) Gigi is not my daughter and (2) Gigi's father is a fully black high school basket ball coach in Washington DC. Reality gives gives her some insight into social acceptable greetings between Skinny White Boys and Big Black Boys. SWB may know one of the three members of the group of BBBs, but he doesn't know the other two. She shared my belief that one of the unknown two young men might believe the only socially acceptable response when a SWB says, "Hello, My Niggas," is "You stupid Cracker," and a left hook.

Certainly, it seems like "You Stupid Crackers," is about the only response to Teabaggers, Republicans and Blue Dogs - although that's a different social issue. I have turned off the TV news for the remainder of the Health Care Debate because it's getting entirely too shrill. I find that I get enough news from the headlines on my homepage and from my Facebook friends. That's where I learned that Markos Moulitsas of the Daily Kos called Dennis Kucinich a "little prick" http://tinyurl.com/yf4rv4h. I glanced at the link kindly provided by a facebook friend but didn't find the "little prick" quote in the first two lines. I quit looking because I was getting a headache.

I'm sorry to say that for a very long time I had confused Dennis Kucinich with Lyndon Larouche. Who knows why - but because of my mistake, I never paid any attention to him until very recently. I'm also sorry to say that even though he may be right about a lot of stuff, I still don't like to listen to him. I prefer to listen to Howard Dean and Alan Grayson - and that independent from Vermont who is a regular guest on Rachel Maddow. As it happens, I am familiar with Markos Moulitsas from his appearances on Rachel Maddow - and that's why I say Markos has no business calling anyone a little prick since he looks pretty much like a little prick himself. Maybe the reason I don't like to listen to Dennis Kucinich is precisely because he comes off like a little prick sometimes - but so does Markos Moulitas, if you ask me.

Further, it seems to me that Kucinich has employed exactly the same congressional leadership tactic used by Joe Lieberman and Bart Stupak in order to demand a public option. Progressives across the country should be applauding his balls not calling him a little prick.

I have to confess that when contemplating Markos' statement, it occurred to me that he may like getting pounded hard up the ass. Lots of people enjoy a good ass fucking - which if you can believe what you hear on the internet, is exactly what we're getting with the current version of health care "reform." Maybe this legislation does address some problems, but without a public option, We The People remain screwed.