Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Ten Things: Honest Scrap Continued

Earlier this month, The Butler Way gave me the Honest Scrap Award. It comes with these instructions:
1.You must brag about the award
2.You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back to the blogger.
3.You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
4. Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Scrap Award.
5.List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself.
Then pass it on with the instructions!
I'm pretty sure I bragged about the award at the time because I love to get awards. I'm the kind of person who needs a bit of external validation every now and then. And I not only linked to the blog that gave me the award then, but I linked to it again here with my sincere thanks for the recognition.

I passed it on to six folks, and I left a comment in their blogs informing them of the award. I'm not so sure I gave them the instructions though, and I can see that I mentioned that there were instructions at the time, but I never posted them. SO - here is the list of links again and maybe they will figure out they've been tagged if they look at their stats and see that somebody clicked onto their blogs from mine:

Utah Savage of Utah Savage
Punch of A Theatre of the Absurd
Yellowdog Granny of Yellowdog Granny
Liberality of Liberality
Lisa of That's Why
Mimi of Mauigirl's Meanderings

Since I originally fell short in passing the award on to seven bloggers, I'm adding Teeluck over at Shock and Awe because he just published a book and also asked me to lunch. He has taken pains to declare that it's not a date, which could be an indication of brilliance in and of itself. I can be a harsh female, evidently. I haven't followed him much lately because he gets all fired up about politics, and I have been actively avoiding politics ever since the BP incident. To me, you can look at that disaster from 1,000 different angles but every single one of those thousand leads directly to one conclusion: We are screwed. We've always been screwed, and we'll be screwed for all time unless there is a massive revolution which seems doubtful.

I haven't felt like doing much of anything lately on account of Velvet, aka Tiny, aka Ming the Merciless has been wearing me out, and on account of I'm a wee bit bummed about The Preacher and The Pagan. The worst part about it is that I have plenty to say on the topic, but I simply have to keep my thoughts to myself because too many people who know him in real life have started coming over here. The man is looking for a job, after all. As much as it pains me to be respectful, I'm forced to keep my mouth shut.

I really wasn't expecting much of a romance to develop - but the idea of me dating a preacher was so inherently ironic that I liked the concept. The Preacher and The Pagan could have been a diverting summer mini-series, although now that I've had the experience, I have to declare conclusively that talking about the bible all the time can bore a woman into a coma. The Summer Boyfriend Reality Show got old after a while but that was because it was annoying. It would have saved a lot of trouble if I'd have written an online dating profile that mentioned the blog and that I like to smoke weed. Whatever it may have been, The Summer Boyfriend Reality show did lead to the episode with that phony bastard ShatAKing which became one of my favorite stories as soon as his wife left a comment here on the blog. Let that be the first of 10 honest things about myself.

1. I love the ShatAKing story (The Saga of the Wall Street Rock Star, Stonerdate 09.08.3008)

2. I'm reading at KGB in July, and will probably tell the real story of The Pagan and The Preacher.

3. I kind of miss talking to Woody even though I still think he was an asshole to ignore the woman who was distressed in his facebook comment thread. It's fun to get high and talk shit with Woody.

4. I'm pretty sure I got my autoimmune disease from running behind the DDT truck back when I was a kid in Beaumont. Running through that cloud was more fun than the ice cream truck. All the kids in the neighborhood were there.

5. One of the main reasons I am a preschool teacher is that whenever I have to work strictly with adults, I wind up crying in the stock room because grown-ups are often big assholes with fucked up priorities. As a group, preschool teachers are pretty cool people.

6. I'm really pretty scared of people in general. Thinking about people in general makes me cry.

7. Actually, I cry a lot. Not for long, drawn out periods of time - in short, intense bursts of sobbing. Although the sobbing technique looks suspiciously like a scene from Gidget or Ann-Margret in Bye Bye Birdie, once the crying is done, I feel able to face my challenges.

I have this exact same phone

8. I fully believe that we are energetic beings walking through an energetic universe, and that one day humanity will reach higher ground. It's just too bad that it's a 10,000 year journey and we've barely begun. Like the song says, "When we've been there ten thousand years, Bright shining as the sun . . . " Some people say that 2012 is when the old order will pass away - as if the Mayans were simply keeping track of The Patriarchy. I wish that were true.

9. Every now and then, I think I should get my teeth whitened and stop drinking coffee. Then the next day, I drink more coffee.

10. I like doing yoga, but I don't like going to yoga class with a bunch of people. Sometimes yoga makes me cry. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll gas the whole class with a massive, toxic fart. Getting a good yoga DVD is on my To Do List.


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

That's why I'm afraid to do yoga, explosive gas.

PENolan said...

It's an alarming and very real prospect. I am surprised it's possible for all those skinny vegetarians to go through class without an incident. Not even SBD farts from them.

Fortunately, I have never farted in Yoga Class - but I missed a week of classes as a result of a pot of pinto beans. I swear I'll be going back to class as soon as I get a few dollars ahead of my bills, but there will be no humus for me.

Punch said...

Thanks for the award PENo. I posted it a while back. I'll have to go and retrieve it and expand a bit. I believe I reworked the visual a bit. I'm bad that way.
Thanks again.
BTW, Preachers don't really understand the nature of god, just the book they work from.

PENolan said...

Amen, Punch.

I am fucking sick of that book, and I still haven't even read it.

Vancouver Voyeur said...

The passing wind positions were always funny, done as they were by older women who had born a number of children. Face it, areas get stretched out and weaker over time, I don't know anyone who's ass is as tight as it was 25 years and a few children ago. Thanks for the laugh.

Liberality said...

I like your phone!!!

A good yoga DVD series can be found here:

And thanks again for the award.

Jennifer said...

I say fart away. Let the skinny vegetarians have it.

The award is most appropriate - your 'honest-scrapness' is what brought me to you.

Someday we'll have to meet and smoke weed and trade online dating war stories.

Jennifer said...

ps - I have some yoga and pilates dvds by instructor Suzanne Deason - love her. And when I use them, I pretend my body looks just like hers.

Teeluck said...

Moran...that is the word I have to put in the word verification thing on your thingy.
Is that a sign??
Does your word ver. thing reflect the person commenting? lol
Thank you for the award, I am honored and I have to do all the strings??
This will be interesting.
You have such great visitors, I love this blog!
Heading off to the bank to pay Junior's college fees, so I'll tie the strings later, bye
PS, this is the link to the book, it is available at...

The Gnome Warrior said...

This comment is going to be all kinds of awkward, so I thought I'd at least give you a disclaimer. Anyway, I'm Preacher's daughter and I've been reading some of your blog now and then (because my dad never tells me anything until he realizes I probably already know), and I just wanted to say that I think you're a pretty cool lady, even if things with Preacher didn't work out. If it's any consolation, he bores/annoys me with all his Bible talk, too. Probably because I'm a wanna-be-pagan atheist.

Anywho, this post was fun to read for so many reasons I'd end up ranting for way too long, so I'll just say that we have a surprising amount in common, which I find to be fairly nifty. So I hope you don't mind if I follow your blog.

PENolan said...

Gnome Warrior,
I love it.
We pagans need to stick together, please feel free to rant at will ;)

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