Friday, April 24, 2009

Chocolate Jesus

A couple of years ago, some guy made a life size, naked, chocolate Jesus. Lots of people were pissed. Chocolate Jesus popped into my head around Easter because of all the chocolate bunnies. Makes much more sense to me to put Chocolate Jesuses in Easter Baskets - especially since communion is all about eating the body of Christ. Why not have a whole Chocolate Jesus instead of one of those tasteless little wafers?

Not surprisingly, there was a lot of commotion around the Chocolate Jesus, but it had more to do with the fully exposed, anatomically correct genitals and the generally sacrilegious nature of the concept of making The Lord out of candy in the first place. The statue was titled My Sweet Lord. I don't remember reading anything at the time that criticized My Sweet Lord for insinuating that Jesus was a dark skinned black man.

The idea that it's virtually impossible for Jesus himself to have been nearly as white as he is often depicted has been around for a long time. In fact, although I don't know the origins of the idea, plenty of people think Jesus was a black man.

Since I spent spring break down in Texas, Chocolate Jesus was already on my mind when a couple of different people asked me what I thought about the Seder at the White House. **Note** I am not Jewish. Buzz Kill's dad, who died when Buzz Kill was in High School, was descended from Russian Jews who came to this country during The Pogroms - which is why everyone was leaving Anatevka in Fiddler on the Roof. Although Vagina Dentata is a New Agey Presbyterian, people still have a tendency to think we're Jewish on account of our last name. And there is the fact that Velvet himself is Jewish enough to have met criteria for Concentration Camps - which makes me pretty much the most Jewish person many of my mother's neighbors have ever met. Plus, you can't live on the Upper West Side of New York City for twenty years without becoming fairly acquainted with Jewish cultural traditions. Ergo: When I was in Texas, folks asked me what I thought about the Obama's having the first Seder at the White House.

I thought it made perfect sense that they'd have a seder since Michele Obama's cousin is a rabbi. I thought it must be common knowledge that Michele Obama's cousin is a Rabbi since it was in the New York Times. His name is Caper Funnye, and he wasn't always Jewish. He converted during the Civil Rights Movement, like a number of African Americans, especially since there was strong support for the idea that Jesus was a black man, and Jesus was Jewish, after all.

Here's Rabbi Funnye:


Blogger Gail said...

You are such a wealth of information. :-)

Chocolate Jesus! "My Sweet Lord"... I love it.
I would definitely take a bite out of Jesus.

Love Gail

April 26, 2009 at 10:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hear he was really hung...


April 26, 2009 at 10:55 AM  
Anonymous dissed said...

I love this so much, and I've always been jealous because I didn't think of it first. *raised as Southern Baptist*

April 26, 2009 at 11:34 AM  
Blogger yellowdoggranny said...

i have had to censor about 5 smart ass remarks on the chocolate jesus..but did give me an idea for a new chocolate candy bar..chocolate dicks..yea, that's the ticket.

April 26, 2009 at 2:17 PM  
Blogger Life As I Know It Now said...

I did not know about the Obama Jewish connection. Makes perfect sense to me!

April 26, 2009 at 6:52 PM  
Blogger PENolan said...

The Obama family has provided a whole lot of diversity in one swoop to the White House.

Now if we could just have a gay wedding in The Rose Garden . . .

April 26, 2009 at 8:50 PM  
Blogger Utah Savage said...

Great post. Sweet Jesus! Did anyone give him a BJ and take a little nibble?

I love the idea of the gay wedding in the rose garden.

Off topic, but can you see when I'm yo-yoing? What's my tell?

April 27, 2009 at 12:33 AM  
Blogger Kulkuri said...

"Did anyone give him a BJ and take a little nibble?" That was the Bris.

Did not know Michelle Obama's cousin was a Rabbi. "Not that there's anything wrong with that."

A chocolate Jesus makes more sense than the stick-to-the-roof-of-your-mouth crackers they usually use.

April 27, 2009 at 9:59 AM  

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