Saturday, August 16, 2008

Velvet is AWOL

Velvet is on his way home from Wyoming. When he called from Munger, all was well. Then he called from Denver wanting me to tell him what gate he was supposed to go to.
"WTF is this about, Velvet?" I asked. "Don't you have a plane ticket in your hand?"

As it happened, Buzz Kill chose that moment to call Velvet, so Velvet went to pick up that call. For reasons that remain unknown, Velvet never spoke with his father. About an hour later, Buzz Kill called me wanting to know if I'd talked to Velvet. Again I ask, "WTF" Naturally Buzz Kill sprang instantly into action, but by that time, Velvet's phone was going straight into voice mail.

The theory that Buzz Kill and I are working under is that Velvet got on an earlier flight with his buddies who were also en route from Munger, Wyoming to LaGuardia. He may be coming in for a landing at LaGuardia this very minute for all I know.

Of course, he might be coming in around 11:00 like he's supposed to but his phone is going into voicemail because it has run out of power from playing Tetris and making plans with his friends to go see Star Wars tomorrow. Either way, who the hell knows where that dang kid is. Not even home yet and I'm ready to knock him on the head with an empty seltzer bottle again. A plastic bottle, friends, not one of the antique glass ones with the metal spouts. That would hurt Velvet and make a mess. When I'm triple angry I don't care if I break things to make a point. I haven't done that in years and years - basically since I started therapy when Velvet was two and my mother's words had been coming out my mouth consistently for a year. Nothing worse than turning in to the worst parts of your mother.

No matter how pissed off I am, however, I would never bust something valuable. I'd look for something cheap and bust that. Actually, these days, I much prefer to get the person's photograph and burn it to ashes, then let the ashes fly away on the breeze.

Ah yes, there's a that lunar eclipse tonight. Very powerful juju at work during eclipses.

1 comment:

dissed said...

He'll get home. He's probably there right now . . . I would be standing on my head, though.

I like to break things. Breaking meaningful objects can be of great therapeutic value.

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