Friday, November 12, 2010

Angels, Beavers and Spiritual Alchemy

I've been ruminating on something for months and months, but I haven't mentioned it here on the blog because people on the internet seem disinclined to mention spirituality unless you're in a Yoga zone.  Also, a sizable portion of people seem to cruise the internet simply because they like to argue.  I avoid those people because their Energy is nasty and hangs in the atmosphere long after they're gone.  I can tolerate that bullshit when discussing Politics or Religion, but if I'm wondering about Angels or Spirit Guides, for example, I don't need some bilious troll spewing Negativity.

Another trouble is that as soon as you mention Energy, you find yourself on an Airy Fairy, Hippie Dippie, New Age trajectory that may very well lead to militant lesbians who gather in state parks to worship the Goddess and use a Y to spell "womyn" because they can't stand the idea that the word women contains men.  No disrespect to those womyn, but as someone who would like to be taken seriously, at least occasionally, I'm not going there.  As hard as The Patriarchy sucks, and as important as it is to use gender-neutral vocabulary - the Y thing seems like a hostile affectation.

Discussing Energy is further complicated because of Grandpa in the Sky - better known as God - who fucks up everything in which He becomes involved.  That's not God's fault.  It's the fault of Conservative Christian Right Wing Republicans and the Teabaggers and Dominionists who are their Spawn. At least, that's whose fault it is in America.  Different cultures have different extremists.

Militant Lesbians and Global Politics have not prevented me from wondering if the pain in my left shoulder is evidence of an individual energetic issue.  They have, however, prevented me from discussing it on the blog.  The thing is that when you're sincerely working on Being the Change, you have to examine your own character in order to align your actions with your beliefs.  Further, if your energy is not flowing evenly and strongly up and down your Chakras, you will be unable to thoroughly process any of your thoughts, ideas, beliefs and/or feelings which makes a person energetically constipated.  The Chakras process energy so that your spirit is functioning healthily in much the same way that the digestive system processes everything we take in physically so that the body is healthy and functional.

In a literal way, Teabaggers are spiritually constipated.  Everyone's energy runs up and down the chakras with the idea of connecting the Earthly to the Divine.  Tantric ideas are based on this understanding of Energy so that orgasms become a spiritual experience.  The energy starts at the first Chakra, at the bottom, and runs up the core and out through the top of the head - hence the term, mind blowing orgasm.

It's the same with Teabagger Thinking.  They hear something that Glenn Beck says, for example.  Because they are spiritually constipated, they cannot process input effectively.  Ideas and Beliefs are trapped in the first chakra - so that in a concrete (if Airy Fairy) way, their heads are, in fact, in their butts.

For Real - I wonder if all the physical issues I've had with my left shoulder ever since I got thrown off a horse back in the summer of 2006 are a manifestation of troublesome juju.

 You can get a succinct flash presentation about all this stuff here:

Sometimes I wonder if there's a spirit guide trying to tell me something.  Like a little kid yanking on your arm all the time saying, "Hey - over here!"  Maybe it's not a spirit guide, exactly, but when I got my DNA activated in 2007, Davis told me that the sore spot at the base of my neck - just where the neck slopes into the left shoulder - is where somebody else's secret is trapped.   I have ideas about that secret, but I'm still unclear about a lot of stuff.  I will say, however, that as a result of my history, I frequently stifled myself in relationships in order to maintain the appearance of Harmony.  In reality, there was discord, but when I was effectively communicating only what the other person wanted to hear, the other person thought there was harmony.

I got thrown off the horse a couple of weeks after I finally gave my own voice enough power to break through Buzz Kill's brick wall of Denial regarding our marriage.  By that time I was furious, unfortunately, and he finally moved home to his Mother.  On one level, it was exhilarating to release my voice and free my spirit.  On all my other levels, the experience was so terrifying and destructive that I shut the fuck up.  As it happens, two weeks prior to the spectacular climax of my marital dysfunction, I met The Narcissist.  One of the primary reasons that relationship could function had to do with the way I modified my Voice.

About nine months later, I had to have surgery to shorten the tendons in my shoulder since it was dislocating all the time.  Although my shoulder is now stable, it hurts sometimes.  Well, it hurts all the time and the range of motion is seriously restricted.  Certainly, there are physical reasons for that pain and restriction, and getting thrown off that horse was just a random incident.  Random shit happens all the time - the entire existence of this planet and life on it is probably random shit that rose from the fundamental chaos of the universe.  Nevertheless, the way I went flying through the air when that horse kicked his hind legs toward some construction noise he heard in the alley behind the stable on West 89th Street was a direct result of my personal body alignment - which is a manifestation of my personal energy.

Things with my voice have improved dramatically so that I can communicate effectively at work with kids, parents, colleagues and the administration.  I express my honest opinion appropriately.  Up until a couple of years ago, I could only tell the whole truth if I were so upset that I was in tears.  I don't know what happens in romantic relationships these days since I don't have one - but despite the fact that me and the preacher didn't hit it off, I believe the communication was honest and respectful.  Things with Buzz Kill are totally cool these days, and they are with my friends and family too.  In fact, the only relationship that remains fucked up is the one with The Narcissist, but my writing isn't where I'd like it to be either which is all about empowering my voice which brings us back to that pain in my shoulder.

Caroline Myss says that your Biography becomes your Biology. Everybody knows that it's common to hold stress in our necks and shoulders.  A secret that bubbles under the surface of a family for a generation or two certainly causes stress.  And when that secret has restricted your ability to manifest your authentic identity, it's very easy to just jump further down the Airy Fairy Trajectory and declare my shoulder pain to be a physical expression of the task of empowering and releasing my own voice.  Fourth Chakra stuff, if I'm remembering correctly.

In Spiritual Alchemy, Caroline talks all about examining our lives from an archetypal perspective. It has to do with approaching our challenges and issues with deeper awareness which leads to personal balance and stability.  She advocates taking a moment to look at yourself and ask:  What the Fuck are you Doing and Why are you doing it over and over and over again?  She proposes looking at yourself as if you were a character in a fairy tale - which is pretty much Jungian psychology.  It's just that after he himself explored Eastern philosophy, he concluded that Westerners we so stuck in their Egos that we couldn't do Yoga.  As if we can't have those mind blowing orgasms because our heads are stuck up our butts.  I can see why he'd think so given the nature of Hilter, the Holocaust, WWII and I don't know what all else was in the environment back then.  Reaganomics and Endless War enriching Plutocrats further support Jung's conclusions.

You can't wave a magic wand and change the Teabaggers - or Karl Rove and Dick Cheney for that matter.  All you can do is Be The Change, like Gandhi said.

To that end - if this ongoing pain in my left shoulder is the result of a spirit guide trying to tell me something essential to the healthy flow of energy up and down my chakras, then I need to stop wondering and start working.  Terms like Angel and Spirit Guide are just vocabulary words for something abstract so we can discuss an experience with others.  Native Americans related to the Divine through the Earth and explained stuff using animal imagery.  To me, it's the same as Santa Claus.  There may not be a real man at the North Pole in a red suit, but there is certainly a Santa energy as Francis Pharcellus Church explained to Virginia years ago in the New York Sun.

Back in when I was getting my DNA activated in Tahoe, the practitioner noticed that I have a spirit guide beside me in those very dark places in my soul.  The trouble I've had with the concept all these years is that my spirit guide is a Beaver so any time I start wondering what to do about the pain in my shoulder from an energetic perspective - I come back around to the notion that when my soul is trapped in a dark place, all I can rely on my Beaver to guide me safely toward balance and harmony.

For someone whose mind goes straight to sex whenever June says, "Ward, you were very hard on the Beaver last night," having a Beaver for a spirit guide prohibits a serious conversation.  But maybe that's the point, after all - and maybe that's why I'm fixated on the guy who won't talk to me.  The ability to process energy thoroughly and effectively is essential to connecting with the Divine which is essential to being a conscious creator in your own life.  If Tantra, or the left hand path as it's known in Yogaspeak, is a path designed by the universe expressly so that people who live in the Real World - going to work, dealing with responsibilities, obligations and miscellaneous Earthly aggravations as opposed to being a vegan and meditating all day in precise yoga postures - then perhaps this pain in my left shoulder is a manifestation of my Beaver saying that if I want mind blowing orgasms, I need to be a progressive political activist and writer.


Vancouver Voyeur said...

Whenever I try to speak of "energy" I get a strange look from M. She doesn't believe in any of that. Even when I try to explain in a strictly scientific manner about the electromagnetic energy already proven to run through each of us, I feel like I'm talking to myself. Some people just cut themselves off from the Divine, the spiritual, the unknown. I'm too curious to dismiss what feels right to me. As for the pain in your shoulder, it could be scarring from your surgery, it could be a pinched nerve, it could be mechanical that somehow your parts aren't the right length or in the right position and that causes pain. Or, it could be a pocket where you hide things you can't deal with at the moment. I think you need to rule out a lot of things to come to what it actually is. Normally I store stress in the upper center of my back, and when the stress is particularly severe, it comes out in the front of my chest and usually triggers an asthma attack. I haven't had that amount of stress in a while, so I'm at peace for the moment. I would do yoga, stretch that area, see if any positions make it better or worse and also explore what you might be storing there.

Mr. Charleston said...

You're onto something here Trish... spiritual suppositories. Something to flush that spiritual constipation right down the drain. Or, at least some spiritual alka seltzer to calm our souls after being confronted by the likes Beck and his minions.

Being a lifelong cognizant of cosmic energy, I've had this discussion at least a thousand times. I've finally gotten to the point to where I explain it to the boneheads who mostly make up the population of this country in terms of lunar tides and menstruation. When they finally get it, a brief moment of clarity comes over them... then, in my excitement, I strike with something like Theosophic regulators or bio-rhythms and the curtain immediately descends again.

I can sometimes reach them by describing the energy of Jesus (a Theosophic regulator) which was so strong that his touch alone would "rearrange" the molecules of your body and rid you of your afflictions, or was so strong that people could feel his presence from miles away.

But alas, the sad truth is that man-made energy pollution has reached the point that it basically overwhelms everything but the tides and the sun, and the average person who has never experience the absence of same has no clue that there is any other way.

With thousands of satellites and micro-wave transmissions, I doubt that there is a single place on earth that isn't polluted by them. It takes a supreme effort to tune that crap out and focus on the "natural vibes" around us, which is probably why so few people do it.

"bilious troll spewing Negativity" LOL

Gail said...

Hey Texas-
I love the "mind blowing orgasm" explanation. Love it!! And you ride horses? Cool. Sorry about the shoulder though, geesh. This is a great piece of writing, wow.
Love you girl Gail
peace and energy and "ommmmmmm"

Debra She Who Seeks said...

First time I've heard of the Tea Baggers explained via Chakra imagery. Hahahahaha! Nice!

PENolan said...

V.V. I'll be starting physical therapy again soon. Being stiff and restricted are common after the kind of surgery I had. Yoga helps to open up the shoulder, but I've had other physical issues that have prevented me from going to class this semester. Mostly I just stretch on my ball.

I'm pretty sure that an aspect of myself is emerging now that I'm approaching Crone-hood, though. Kind of like spreading my wings ;)

Mr. Charleston - I learned something new from you today. Never heard the term Theosophic regulator. Something new to pursue - besides the idea of brewing up a spiritual tonic sort of like the Baldwin sisters on The Waltons.

Gail- oooommm back at cha!

Debra - maybe it's an idea whose time has come. Glad to see you.

Lisa said...

This is way over my head. But the idea of you being a progressive activist and writer make perfect sense to me.

PENolan said...

Lisa - It's nice of you to read all the way to the end. Hope it didn't make you dizzy ;)
Caroline Myss started out as an alternative healer looking at how emotions influence pain/disease (I think). Her work led in many directions but her focus remains on healing - physical and otherwise. The important aspect for me has been using a lens of archetype to explain repeated patterns in relationships.
It provides insight into questions like: What's up with me and that narcissist????

intelliwench said...

Seems like the mere act of examining the body-mind-other/ether connections are a step toward sorting it all out. When you've been too distracted by the men in your life to focus on YOU (as so many woman are prone to do, pun unintended), it's no wonder your body ain't happy ;-)

Susan Tiner said...

There is so much here that I relate to. I agree with Vancouver Voyeur that pain can stem from many things, physical and spiritual. I hope your shoulder feels better soon.

PENolan said...

Thanks, Susan
Intelli, I'm pretty sure that now that I'm over 50 my primary archetypal energies are shifting - out of Servant mode, that's for sure ;)

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