Monday, December 27, 2010

A Different Kind of Bar

A while back Teeluck, from Shock and Awe, and I discussed going to Drinking Liberally.  He went a couple of weeks ago and declared it Fun, so I met him there last Thursday.  It was nice of him to check it out and even nicer to meet me there since I would have been chicken to go by myself. 

Drinking Liberally meets at a bar on 9th Avenue.  At some point in the evening, I realized that I had not been in a bar full of straight men since college.  There is a place on Amsterdam where we went for barbecue when Velvet was little that is filled with young, straight men, but I only went there with Buzz Kill and Velvet.  For the last several years, any time I've gone into a bar without an escort, it's been a bar filled with gay men and lesbians, and most of them are theatre people so nobody causes much of a stir.  Or maybe everyone causes such a commotion that nobody notices.

It occurred to me that something was different about this bar when the bouncer started hitting on me,  I must have instigated it by mentioning my recent troubles regarding being undateable.  He said, "I'll date you right now," and pawing ensued.  I didn't really know what to do about the pawing since I was unsure of the relationship between the bouncer and the regular DL crew.  By the time the bouncer started going for mouth kisses, most of the DL folks had gone home, but there were still enough people at the table to have a conversation about my dilemma.  One fellow was a union organizer, another worked for Greenpeace and another worked with Working Families Party.  And of course Teeluck was still there.

I'm not sure if that very handsome, but very married, man from New Jersey was there or not.  He was a wonderful dancer and had amazing blue eyes and a long, thick grey ponytail.  Anyway, the delegation assured me that there was no need for me to be nice to the bouncer on their account, so I told the bouncer that I required eight feet between me and him at all times. I wiped a tear from my eye as I said it, though, and he was appropriately confused and concerned - and he remained eight feet away.

It wasn't the bouncer who convinced me that I'm not undateable, however.  Or even that very handsome married man I so enjoyed dancing with.  It was the 36 year old hottie I invited back to my place to smoke weed. Over the course of the evening, I decided he was undoubtedly the cutest fellow in the bar.  I told him so, and when it was time to go, I put him in a taxi.  Velvet was still out with Buzz Kill and Vagina Dentata when Young N Strong and I got to my place.  He got home a few minutes later, and the three of us hung out for a little while.  Velvet mentioned that hadn't seen Cupcake that night because she was at a party on the East Side, and I stunned myself by giving him $20 and telling him to go to the party.

When I woke up the next morning, I knew for sure I am very dateable indeed. In fact, the reaction of the fellows to the bouncer showed that I can still stir up a ruckus in a bar.  I haven't caused a fight in a bar since I was twenty-something.  Now that I think about it, I remember telling Buzz Kill that somebody had to marry me soon because of the bar fights.  I never meant to cause any trouble, of course, in the olden days or last week.  I don't even know how these things happen, exactly, except that I'm a lively female, and some men think that means I'm hot to trot when that is not the case at all.  At least not with that particular bouncer.

I'm just glad to know that I have been wrong about my romantic life.  I'm not undateable, and I'm not too old to be a cougar, either.

14 comments:

Teeluck said...

I just love this:) rrrr!

Jaliya said...

So ... you enigmatic thing you, did that hunky 36-year-old stay the night??
;-)

PENolan said...

Girlfriend, you know I never get that personal on the blog. I'll email you ;)

Teeluck, I can't wait to go again. Actually, I think I'll interview Justin for Worldwide Hippies, but I promise to leave him alone since I his facebook page says he's engaged. I'm a cougar, not a poacher.

Gail said...

HEY GIRL-

I am wildly impressed and not at all surprised that you cause a stir in the most provocative of ways. And a good time was had by all, Amen. :-)
Love you girl
Gail
peace.....

Lisa said...

I never doubted your ability to cause a ruckus. Ever.

Glad you got that undateable thing out of your haid.

PENolan said...

Gail, I sincerely hope a good time is had by all again very soon.

Lisa, I'm glad that undatable thing is outta my haid, too. All I have to say about that is: Damn Narcissist. I hear that Narcissism has become so pervasive in this country that they're taking it out of the DSM as a diagnosis. It's fucking NORMAL now to be a narcissist. I think we should be locking them up.

dissed said...

Well all right then, mark that off the list, and good on you. Happy holidays, indeed.

corticoWhat said...

YOU, I think, are dangerous. A very attractive trait in my book.

Dusty,Hells most vocal Bitch said...

You really have to be crazy as a shithouse rat to be undateable dear woman. ;)

PENolan said...

Dusty, I'm pretty sure my ex-husband would say that I am crazier than a shit house rat, but he's still holding a grudge because I wound up with so much money ;)

Cortico - I am not a bit dangerous. Risky or Troublesome, maybe, but not dangerous. At least not to anyone whose character can withstand a little scrutiny.

dissed, I reckon that I'm going to put this one on the list again and again and again. Who knew?

mac said...

Young N Strong is a lucky guy to have attracted a lady like you.

Undatable my ass ! You are a catch :-)

PENolan said...

mac, you remain my hero

intelliwench said...

I have been intrigued by the Drinking Liberally concept ever since hearing about it. But I live in a town with few liberals and zero bars, so for the time being I shall remain undatable AND sober....

Jaliya said...

Woo hoo!! I've just read this post again and realize that I've never caused a ruckus in a bar. That's going on my Bucket List!

;-D

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