Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Dating in Toon Town

Here's Worldwide Hippies News & Stuff for this week.
I'm on at about 4:00 talking about the march OnMay12

Joe had some fun with Bill Clinton as asshole of the week, but then I love cartoons.

I tend to examine my interactions with men through the lens of Cartoons.  I'd probably compare women to cartoon characters, too, except there weren't enough female cartoon characters back when I was a kid, and I haven't watched any cartoons lately.   When Buster was little, I enjoyed The Power Puff Girls, but once he started watching all those Japanese cartoons, like Gundam Wing and Pokemon, I quit watching with him. People say the Japanese cartoons are backlit so frequently because the nation still struggle with the nuclear trauma - and that was before the earthquake.

I can't hold thoughts about the current nuclear situation in Japan in my head very long before Godzilla takes over.   I'm pretty sure that Godzilla has simply been sleeping somewhere - kind of like King Arthur - and all that radiation leaking into the ocean is bound to get his attention.  Godzilla is not a cartoon, however, and has nothing at all to do with The Summer Boyfriend Reality Show which is, of course, where my own attention lies at the moment.

My first real date in years is scheduled for Saturday night.  I'm not sure where we're going yet, exactly, since we agreed we'll meet for drinks and then determine how the evening will unfold.  The increasingly salacious flirtation via email suggests that the fellow in question could be a wolf.

Given that I changed my dating headline to "Built for Comfort," after listening to my trusted adviser Woody Konopeli, I can see how I may have been a bit provocative.  It all started when I decided to make a new screen name because I had used SummerRain back during the Ashley Madison Experiment and didn't want my latest adventures in dating to be colored by associations to the past.  Now I'm 212Shambala.

While updating my profile, I felt it necessary to address the tendency many folks have on Match dot com to go searching for ski bunnies and tennis partners.  I was merely saying that while I'm always prepared to come about, I'll be waving goodbye to all those people trotting by in spandex outfits.  I closed with the line, "I'm built for comfort, not for speed," which I first heard in college - most likely from The Man from San Antone who reminded me distinctly of Foghorn Leghorn.  I'm not sure I've ever even heard the Howlin' Wolf song until Woody was so enthusiastic about the blues that I grabbed the headline and found the song on Youtube.

The headline seemed to be working for a while, though. For the last couple of days, nobody has paid any attention to me - but for some reason Match hasn't been sending me my Daily 5 either. For the uninitiated, Match dot com sends five potential dates to your inbox every morning. I haven't gotten any in days. Maybe because I kept hitting the reject button. They weren't bad fellows - it's just that they lived in New Jersey or somewhere equally as unattractive.

People who live in the suburbs and the boroughs are justifiably annoyed by the way those of us who live in the city visibly cringe at the Bridge and Tunnel factor. I honestly try to keep an open mind - but I'm just not going to cross a bridge or go through a tunnel for dating purposes.

I'm sure that there are thousands of Nice Guys in the boroughs - and in New Jersey or Long Island. But they often have such thick Yankee accents that we have trouble communicating. I have had to spell a word on more than one occasion because they can't understand a damn thing I'm trying to say. Actually, I have to spell things for Woody occasionally, too, but that's because when I've been smoking weed I sound like I just got off a tractor.

It's not really the dialect, however. It's the commute. When you have to factor in an hour or more on the train just to get to your lover, an affair quickly becomes tedious. I'd entertain the idea of dating a fellow from the boroughs, but I could never ever sleep over at his place without being terminally late to work. I can't get to work on time now, and school is only a bit over a mile from HQ. It's like if a guy lives all the way downtown, it might as well be a long distance relationship - and if I'm going to have a long distance relationship, I'd prefer it to be with someone who lives in a charming small town so that I could spend weekends in the country, and he could come into the city to go out to dinner and the theater.

Fortunately, the fellow I am scheduled to see on Saturday has both an apartment in the city and a home in Massachusetts. At least, that's what he says. You never know about people you meet on the internet.


mac said...

Foghorn Leghorn was always my favorite. I'm not sure where I'd fall on a cartoon scale, somewhere around Elmer Fudd, I fear ;-)

I like the idea of using Blues songs to describe your dating style. I'd like to think I'm Muddy Waters' Hoochie Coochie Man.

Good luck Saturday (but only moderately).

PENolan said...

As I recall, you have much more hair that Elmer Fudd ;)

I mostly relate to Tigger, but he was in a book before he appeared in animated TV.

Lisa said...

I'm just going to sit over here and live/date vicariously through you, okay?

PENolan said...

Sounds like a plan, Lisa

Makropoulos said...

Hey, hope the date goes well! Love the song, -- I think "built for comfort" is a great handle, as long as you make it clear to the dude that it's your comfort you're talking about:)

Makropoulos said...

Oh! I was so excited about your date, and giving advice, that I waited to watch the WorldWide Hippy News, which I am digging! You go, girl, with the marching -- and I love your commentary on the TV!

Also love the idea of viewing your dating history as a cartoon. I've got to think a bit about which cartoon would best describe my disastrous dating history -- it would have to be one where the female character has her head in the clouds and no clue about what she's getting into!

I'm sending my sister your way. I think she's going to love your blog.

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