Friday, December 23, 2011

Winter Solstice and the Number 42

On the subway yesterday I heard a man telling his neighbor that his girlfriend had just been diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer when his dad had a stroke.  He was on the way to the hospital.  That puts my own situation in perspective - although I have to say that I think that poor man's family is a fairly accurate metaphor for the socio-political/economic situation in this county.  I still can't even pay attention to anything coming out of Washington because it's all so fucked up, and that includes the Bradley Manning thing.  I refuse to dignify those proceedings by using the word "trial."

Comparatively, things here at Menopausal Stoners Temporary HQ in Washington Heights are great.   But even though we have a warm, comfortable roof over our heads, good food to eat, decent health, supportive relationships with friends and family, a job that I love, seasonally appropriate clothes that fit and new boots - today, I feel like all that just proves how life pretty much sucks.  It's not that I am ungrateful.  Really.
This is the day the Lord has made. Rejoice and Be Glad.
Every day above ground is a good day.
Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

I'm pretty sure my attitude reflects my hormonal state since I got my period last night.  My period has been erratic ever since I followed my doctors' recommendation to discontinue The Pill on account of my blood pressure and my age.  It's only been a couple of months. but after one normal period, then a bonus period about 10 days later, I hadn't had a period in about six weeks.  I was kind of hoping that I had gone through menopause and didn't notice.  I thought maybe I was done having periods forever, but I must have conjured it yesterday.  I was talking about it with Gigi over lunch in the bar at Bergdorf's and later at Molly Equality Dykeman's Molly Jolly Christmas.  When I got home, there it was again.  Now I'm hoping that Jon-El Wisdom  has had a vasectomy.

Not that he's even called.
Not that it would matter if he did since Velvet will not be returning to Tree Hugger as planned in January.  He'll be taking on the role of the Cockblocker instead.

I shouldn't rag at Velvet since he really did do his best at school.  But when a kid is only taking two classes and still gets a D in one of them, it's time to conclude once and for all that the student cannot successfully function in a mainstream environment.  The good news is that Velvet finally understands exactly what his issues are.  All these years, miscellaneous adults have been listing Velvet's issues for him and telling him what he should do.  Now he finally gets it and has to figure it out for himself.  All in all, this development is exactly what needed to happen in order for him to successfully function throughout his entire life.  Nevertheless, we were all hoping for a different outcome.  Well, maybe not all of us.  I'm pretty sure that Cupcake has been hoping he'd move home and go to school in New York City.

We'll have to finally count up his credits and see if, after five semesters, Velvet can officially be considered a sophomore somewhere.  Anywhere Velvet applies for admission as a transfer student will have to be an alternative educational environment, so the grades aren't really such a big deal.  Personally, I don't see any reason for him to apply to school at all anywhere until he has a clear idea of why he's going to school in the first place.   He still likes the idea of Outdoor Education, and I think he'd be good at that, so maybe the best  option at the moment is another Semester in the Wilderness where he can sort all that out.

My trouble with that course of action is that, although a Semester in the Wilderness may very well be whats best for Velvet right now, I'm concerned that sending him to Patagonia, New Zealand or the Desert Southwest simply suits my personal agenda.  I love every molecule of that boy and wouldn't change a single thing about him - but I really hoped that a romantic relationship would develop between me and Jon-El Wisdom, the Emmy Award Winning Black Man.

And maybe it still will.  At the moment, though, Jon-El is up to his eyeballs in a personal shit storm.  It's his little family's first Christmas since The Separation.  They've lived apart a few months but it's only been about six weeks since their separation agreement was filed at Family Court.  Being as he's a lawyer, Jon-El Wisdom handled at those documents himself which, in my view, shows that his wife hasn't started thinking clearly yet.   I'd have my own lawyer working on getting every penny the man ever made for my children and me - but that's just me.  In any case,  I don't need to be participating in his marital dysfunction.  Ergo:  Velvet as the Cockblocker is probably all for the best.

Meanwhile, I'm focusing on my own health and, of course, buying that charming little apartment on Riverside Drive just north of the George Washington Bridge.  I'm not sure I'll wind up buying that particular apartment since the sellers will take a substantial loss even if somebody pays 100% of their asking price.  Based on the amount the public record shows they paid for the place in 2005 and what they apparently spent on improvements, they're already losing about sixty grand at current asking price.  They'll be losing even more than that if they accept what I intend to offer.

As it happens, I can totally afford an apartment for sale across the street from Little Cutie.  It needs a ton of work to make a nice little home for Velvet and me, but then I can create an environment tailored to our own needs.  And besides, I have my mother to advise me.  She may be stuck in her big house in Houston because things are tough all over - but she has flipped 21 houses in her time.  Could be that the apartment across the street from Little Cutie will be the 22nd.  It's filled with original architectural detail from the turn of the last century and has a view of the bridge from the front room.

No matter what happens with school and real estate, Velvet and I are going to be okay.  I'm calling that Thing Of Beauty #41-101 (Explore Beauty - a challenge from realia).  Number #42-101 is that my blogging buddy corticoWhat is hanging in there.  I like popping over to his blog, CBGD, to see how he's doing.  Sooner or later, that CBGD is going to take corticoWhat over to the other side.  Now, he writes when he can.  The Hitchhiker's Guide tells us that 42 is the answer to the ultimate question of the meaning of Life, The Universe and Everything - and here in the Triciasphere, Cortico is 42 for ever and always.

I'm almost certain that the Human Connection already has had a place on this list, but since that connection may very well be the most beautiful thing of all, it can have another one.  Call it Spirit, or Consciousness, Humanity or whatever you want, that connection is what makes life worth living.   This Winter Solstice, corticoWhat shows the light that shines within, drawing us toward one another.  Blessed Be.


Woody (Tokin Librul/Rogue Scholar/ Helluvafella!) said...

They didn't discover Lila's cancer til it had already advanced to "Stage 4," which is basically way too late. I dunno how it escapes detection for so long; or does it grow SO FAST that you're dying before you know it?

I dunno.

Din't mean to harsh the buzz; as usual, your observations are pert and pertinent. It sounds like the "cross-the-street" place is pretty cool...and a view of the bridge from the front window sounds about perfect, from a charm perspective.

PENolan said...

It doesn't harsh the mellow, Professor. That cycle of death and birth, light and dark - all that stuff - it's all part of the great Mandelbrot set of life, now isn't it?
Like Peter, Paul & Mary sang, "Take your place on the Great Mandela . . . "

You're discussing that at As the Cookie Crumbles today I believe.

Gwendolyn H. Barry said...

There is this 'moving' theme around me. I hope for you, this season, contentment with your choices in moving... and that it comes with happy little surprises keeping you - challenged but pleased for it. How's that? I just spent the morning with my nephew. A treat. He's having difficulties with his grades, too. Football team means he must stand to the average required. He's doing his best. Can understand Velvet's dilemmas. Hope it works itself out.

On the other hand! A new home for xmas? It gives me a sunbeam! Right here to stand in, for a moment. Nice. My lil sister is having some fun moving into her little bungaloo too. So, no complaints and hopefully no fears today. A good solstice.... the quiet before the great wave begins...? Could very well be.

Gail said...

HI TRISH - I oove tht you know that no matter what yu and Velvet are and will continue t be okay. I remember saying to Dolan, "we will make it through just fine." Ya, that kind of strength is unyielding and could, should, does change the world, one kept promise at a time.
Love Gail

p.s. my verification word is "gawdyli" which describes quite well how I walk :-)

Mr. Charleston said...

Top of the season so you Trish. Sounds like you've everything under control. Peace.

PENolan said...

Mr C - I take no credit for control, but I do think I adapt well to changing circumstance. Peace to you, too

And you, too, Gail. Hope that little Christmas tree of yours continues to thrive. Wasn't its name "Hope"?

GHB, it was a lovely, quiet day. By the 26th, we'll engaged in a full family Jamboree down in Houston. Yippee Kay Yay

Jim said...

101010 is a number to be reckoned with. I'd dance around 110 times with 111.

wv - tievalin is what they call a certain kind of kinky relationship with the Monkey King.

Jennifer said...

There are a lot of bad things about dating in middle age. There are a lot of good things too - like he (almost) always has his own place and our "children" don't *have* to be Cockblockers.

Then again, I remember laying awake in a sleeping lover's arms and thinking about my 25 year old roommate/daughter worrying that her mother was killed in some hideous accident because why else wouldn't she have come home?


Happy Solstice PE xo

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