On Clearing Chakras and Taking the Edge Off the End of Empire - Thing of Beauty #072-101

I've talked about my creaky shoulder for a while now - particularly the idea that my chi took such a detour when it hit a block at my heart chakra instead of going straight up my spine and out the top of my head like it's supposed to, and as a result, arthritis ate up the cartilage in my left shoulder.  My guiding premise in fixing the shoulder has centered on the Tantric idea - or at least my interpretation of Tantric ideas - that by having enough mind blowing orgasms, the heart chakra will clear and the realignment will send the chi in the right direction so that my shoulder will heal itself.  Along those same lines, clearing the heart chakra would lead to clearing the throat chakra which would subsequently free my voice.  I hadn't really thought through the whole connection between freeing my voice and connecting with the Divine, although that would be a lovely outcome.  I've been more concerned with my shoulder.

As it happens, after spending a week in Pinko's RV at Burning Man, the mobility in my shoulder increased dramatically.  And as it also happened, about the same time I realized that going to Burning Man was a lot like Jake and Elwood's mission from God (Burning, Hell and Texas, Stonerdate 07.13.13) I got a toothache on the left side of my mouth.

While I was at Burning Man two separate individuals mentioned clearing my throat chakra.  One was a very nice fellow who did readings at Sideshow, our theme camp community which was the brainchild of an artist known as Killbuck.  He  did the readings from the little booth on the right side of the main tent.  He was insightful and accurate, in my case, and gave me a mediation about clearing the throat chakra.  I hope he turns up again next year because he was great.

My throat chakra came up again the next day when I went by myself to check out Center Camp.  I met an older man from India there who said he was a Brahmin and had studied with Osho himself.  He said he could absolutely clear my throat chakra so that I was fully aligned with the Divine.  It was a simple matter of sucking his cock.  Apparently, the energetic force, or prana, in his semen was strong enough to fix me right up.  Here's a photo of him from his website.  

I hesitate to "out" him - since for all  I know, he's cured lots of folks and there appears to be more than one Pandit with the same last name.  He said he sits in the driver's seat and the client sits in the passenger seat.  I didn't ask if his jeep was there at Burning Man because by the time I heard about the logistics of the cure, it seemed to me that I should be getting paid, not him.  It also occurred to me that most likely the power of the prana in his semen was probably equal to any semen's prana - so one cock was as good as another for aligning with the Divine.  Everybody knows that kind of stuff all depends on your intent anyway.

I figure that my throat chakra was starting to open on its own before I ever got to Burning Man - but I didn't make the connection until a couple of weeks ago when this toothache really started bothering me.    It all started a few weeks before I got on the plane to California, but I thought the pain was related to my sinuses.  The pollen count in New York was really high this summer, and I've had pain in the nerves to my teeth on that side of my mouth related to sinus issues for a number of years.  I just take a decongestant and some Advil.  This year, though, the situation grew more troublesome so I discussed it with my dentist when I went in for a cleaning in September.  The periodontist and I talked about it again the next week when we were taking the next steps to finally install the new tooth on the upper right side.

The dentist and the periodontist were concerned that a shard from the bone graft we did last year as part of the excavation project may have been floating around the left side, but x-rays revealed that I needed a root canal on the bottom right molar.  When the endodontist took more x-rays, he discovered that the tooth was cracked and needed to come out.

So I figure that whatever happened at Burning Man with Pinko was so significant that my heart chakra finally cleared totally, which enabled the energy to go through the throat chakra with enough force to blast my dang tooth right out of my head.  It makes sense.  If the energy had already blasted out the cartilage in my left shoulder, once it got through the throat, the tooth was a goner.

During all this dental stuff, I remembered that my old dentist could tell that I had bone loss on the left side of my lower jaw years ago - at about the same time I got thrown off that horse at Claremont Riding Academy on West 89th Street which is when the shoulder started dislocating all the time.

This is some random photo and doesn't include anyone I know - but that may very well be the same bitchy white mare who got spooked by construction in the alley and sent me flying right toward one of those cement pillars.

That was seven years ago, and anyone who pays attention to astrology knows that Saturn causes some major shit every seven years in order to balance excess or something like that.  Seven years ago I was compelled to go to Tahoe to see Granny the Ho, who went on to her reward not long after, and while I was there I got my DNA activated (Angels, Beavers and Spiritual Alchemy, Stonerdate 11.12.10 and Character, Fairytales and Chakra Alignment, Stonerdate 04.14.13). 

It was during that DNA activation that I learned my totem - who functions as an animal spirit guide - is a Beaver.  Ergo: it logically follows that the path to healing and enlightenment is through my pussy.

I already knew that before I met Pinko at the Black Rock Hilton, and now that my chakras have aligned well enough for the energy to crack that molar, who knows what will happen when he gets here in a couple of weeks with that mojo of his.

Last week, once the dentist performed the extraction, I got all twisted up about Pinko and the spirituality issue again - but this time we finally talked the whole thing out.  In the process, we discovered that there is a common language between us after all.  He took a self development course some years ago which he found very helpful despite the fact that the organization itself was set up as a pyramid scheme.  Although the material really did facilitate the removal of emotional blocks to personal happiness, the hard sell to sign up for masters courses turned him off so thoroughly that he's suspicious of all that stuff now.  Nevertheless, we found a way to have a meaningful conversation about the whole thing.

I had been concerned that my ego was throwing Pinko's mouthy atheism at me in order to keep me isolated inside myself instead of partnering up with a kindred spirit.  Any time you're feeling sad, isolated and despaired, you can bet your ego is getting in your way.  Max the Psychic Life Coach and Hair Dresser, whose business has now evolved into www.AttractPositiveResults.com, posted this graphic yesterday.  Pretty well sums up the situation.

I still prefer A Course in Miracles over all that Law of Attraction stuff since the Course is all about shifting your perspective from Love to Fear.  While LOA can provide some tools to help you get over yourself, until you really shift internally, it's all magical thinking - as if all you have to do is make a vision board and Santa Claus will bring you a fancy car or something equally as consumerist.  Feel Good bullshit spirituality that tells us, just like the conservative Christians, God (or the Universe) shows He likes you best by filling up your house with lots of stuff.   Shifting from Fear to Love brings you absolutely nothing but inner peace, and the confidence to take a leap of faith every now and then.  

Who knows why my shoulder is better, really?  All this DNA activation, chakra clearing meditation, astrological impact and beavers makes a lovely airy fairy story - maybe it's true.  Why not?

Shifting from Fear to Love, however, is important for all of us right now especially when you consider things like Fukushima (the latest from Greenpeace).  I've maintained that as the empire collapses around us, we need to reach out and build stronger connections with each other.  Global economic and environmental collapse is alarming any way you look at it, and it seems to be increasing exponentially these days.

I'm thankful to have found a man who I like well enough to let inside my house.  No matter what's happening in the outside world, inside we can take the edge off.

That's such a nice development, I'm declaring it Thing of Beauty #072-101

(h/t  Jennifer Morrison for Explore Beauty, a challenge at realia)