Sunday, April 14, 2013

Character, Fairytales and Chakra Alignment

Velvet must have gotten tired of my All Star Trek All The Time approach to television viewing and introduced me to a series called Once Upon A Time.

When my mother was here, we went to Costco and got a TV for the living room as well as as many packets of organic chicken as I could stuff into my freezer.  For what seems like the last 10 years, I've only gone to  Costco when I was in Texas in order to get Melatonin, Ibuprofen, Vitamin E, Strivectin and various products from Oil of Olay.  I knew from all those trips that there were copious amounts of shit at Costco.  I just didn't know they had good shit.  Now that I now there's good shit, I'll probably get a membership of my own to use quarterly at the urban Costco on East 116th Street.  There are car service drivers on hand in the parking garage to take you home for a flat fee.

Last week, I went home with a flat screen in Mother's Subaru, and commenced watching Once Upon A Time.  Velvet showed me the pilot episode before I went to Texas while we were having dinner.  We've been watching Arrested Development with dinner sometimes using his Netfix account on my computer, which has a screen fancy enough to be the only TV in the house.  It's just that I prefer watching movies and other longer shows from the sofa instead of a dining chair or desk chair - which is why I broke down and got a TV for the living room in the first place.  We've had a TV this whole time, it's just been in Velvet's room because he needs it for Xbox Live.

For the record, Velvet and I have conversations at dinner, too, but we've always liked to watch TV together. When he was in fifth grade or so and my former friend Rhet lamented that half the world today doesn't realize there were movies prior to Star Wars, I instituted a Classics program, also using Netflix. Lion in Winter may not have been the best place to start since young Velvet ran from the room in tears, shouting "How could you make me watch such a horrible woman?!" Years later, I realized that he may have been equating his mother with Eleanor of Aquitaine which is understandable given the nature of my marriage to Buzz Kill.   I showed him John Water's Serial Mom as an example of black comedy about the same time.  It proved much less problematic, although the language in the first scene is certainly not how you'd like your children to hear you talk.

But back to Once Upon A Time, I like it because it takes the typical notion of fairytale princesses and turns them into kick-ass, proactive, smart, strong women.  During the first season, the main theme was how everyone has the power to change his/her life.  We're not defined by our pasts or how others perceive us.  The whole set up appeals to me because of my own personal interest in the intersection of real life and fairytale through a lens of archetypes.  The characters on Once well-rounded for TV.  Everyone is a mixture of strengths and frailty, and they call each other on their bullshit in a way that facilitates character development - not only in a literary sense but also in a real life sense where we reflect on our behaviors and feelings, see where there's work to be done - do it and evolve.  So they're developing strength of character over the course of the season.

I've been looking at my own character for years, chronicling its development here on the internet - and I've been trying to shape Velvet's character for years.  That's my work.  For recreation, I've been examining the characters of men who qualified, to some degree, as Romantic Interests.  Woody says that when I get in a relationship, I've embarked on some sort of ethnographic study and uses the example of the Preacher from the Mountains to illustrate how I was much more interested in seeing a preacher's look at spirituality and in The Church as an institutional road block to human progress than I ever was in the man himself.  Rhet used to say that my boyfriends were essentially dildos with a Rubrics Cube attached.  Once I solved the puzzle, I got a new cube.

This tendency to make sense of the world through a romantic (read sexual) lens might have something to do with having a Beaver as my totem.  I learned my totem is a Beaver back in 2006, the summer I got thrown off a horse, got divorced, got involved with The Narcissist and got my DNA activated when I visited Granny the Ho in Lake Tahoe.  My cousin had recently had her DNA activated by a woman named Davis.  You could say she was a healer, a shaman or a witch - but she was also my cousin's friend and an amazing masseuse.  Apparently, it's fairly common for one family member's DNA activation to trigger a response in another family member.  Could be that's why I felt compelled to jump on a plane and get myself to Tahoe.

Davis was trained to activate DNA by this guy named Derek O'Neill.  Everybody knows that all kinds of physical characteristics, like eye color, are in the genetic information that winds up in our bodies on account of DNA.  That's where my own knowledge on this subject ends - but what I understood from Davis is that our DNA gives us both our physical and emotional heritage.  We can all see the physical characteristics in families - seeing the emotional stuff handed down through the generations isn't so easy.  It's kind of like "the sins of the fathers" because let's say something traumatic happened to your grandmother - her attitudes shaped your mother and your mother's attitudes shaped you psychologically.  That shit is passed down through generations not only because of the relational stuff. It's in the DNA too.  Davis' handout says:
Our human form is composed of 12 physical strands of DNA and 12 corresponding spiritual strands totaling 24 strands.  The average person has only 1 strand activated, which accounts for limited brain use in humans.  The 22-Strand activation is the key to unlock 22 of our 24 strands of DNA . . . The Codons, which are access points into our etheric blueprint and influence the DNA strands, are opened and infused with light.  As the codons take on light, they immediately translate a new light pattern to the master cell of the pineal gland.
The punch line is that activating your DNA clears your karma.

After we centered ourselves and my body was properly aligned and breathing, Davis dusted off my aura with a raven's wing.  I can't remember what happened next in the process, but eventually she energetically charged her crystal wand and placed it carefully on specific points along the back of my head - the codons.

Even though she always used the same wand, sometimes it felt hot and sometimes it felt cold.  When she was activating the fourth codon - I went to an intensely dark place in my spirit.  So dark and sad and lonely that she nearly moved on to the fifth codon but she felt me relax and knew I was okay with the dark place.  That's when she saw my totem, the beaver, was keeping me safe.

People have different vocabulary words to explain spiritual phenomenon.  Some people like the idea of Angels surrounding us who are there to help as soon as we ask.  Others think of spirit guides and totems.  Kind of depends on your tradition - Native American, Celt, Whatever.  Even people who are militant atheists still nurture their spirits by engaging in relaxing, fun activities like gardening, cooking, surfing, et cetera.  No matter what vocabulary words we use to describe what's happening to our emotional self, all you're really doing is listening to the still voice inside you.  The trick is turning off the   chatter of the ego long enough to hear the voice.

The DNA activation was cool for lots of reasons, and Davis followed it up with an outstanding full body massage.  That's when she told me that somebody else's secret is trapped exactly where my neck slopes into my left shoulder, which is the shoulder that got fucked up when I got thrown from the horse a few months before I saw Davis.  Coincidentally, it's the same shoulder that had the recent arthritis issues that led to the surgery in 2011, which was the second surgery on that shoulder.  I've come to the conclusion that my heart chakra was so blocked that my energy takes a detour between the forth and fifth chakras and instead of going out the top of my head like it's supposed to - it blasts out that shoulder so hard the cartilage evaporated.

Since my totem is a beaver, I know that the best way to fix the energetic issue with the shoulder is by aligning my chakras from the inside using methods best described as Tantra.  Looking at the boyfriend situation logically, we see that the two men who pissed me off most were The Narcissist and Notta Goodman.  As it happens, I was on serious pain medication when I entered into both of those relationships against my better judgment and have to wonder how much influence the narcotics had on my thinking.  Both relationships led to an ethnographic study of self particularly with regard to ego reactions in relationships which has been enlightening and liberating.  Physically, those relationships were both beneficial in aligning my chakras so that my energy is much more likely to circulate in my body the way it's supposed to instead of fucking up my shoulder.

I still need to address the issue of Somebody Else's Secret because that shoulder remains stiff as hell.

As it happens, I followed my inner voice to Cafe Luxembourg last Friday.  I was supposed to meet a friend, but the timing didn't work out.  I'd been conducting parent/teacher conferences for two days, so cocktails at Cafe Lux seemed like a good idea whether my friend could meet me or not.  While I was sipping one of their signature drinks, Three Naked Ladies, an attractive, British man approached me and almost instantly started massaging that shoulder.  Naturally one thing led to another, and I gave him my number.  That's how it is when you're guiding spirit is a beaver.  He's a banker, so who knows if he'll ever call.

He's 42, though, which I fully believe indicates that I should follow this path leading to younger men.  The British Banker is the third fellow in his early 40s I met last week.   Since 42 is the answer to the ultimate question about Life, The Universe and Everything according to Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy - I think I'm on to something.

Iconic image from a Cafe Luxembourg postcard


James Joiner said...

That was very interesting Trish Not sure what to say but good luck there!

Stay stoned and happy, I love it!

PENolan said...

Jim, what else is there to say? Really?

Gail said...

Hey Texas - where are you, anyway? I am confused by your recent travels and where u landed, is it permanent, a visit, "splain Lucy" :-)
ANd I love "Once Upon A Time". And, I want to do it with Rumplestilskin, I truly do!!
Love you girl

PENolan said...

Hey Gail!
I'm back home in Harlem and my folks have gone back to Texas. It was all part of putting the finishing touches on HQ. No more traveling for a while.
And that British Banker absolutely reminds me of Mr. Gold. Like I say, we'll see if he actually calls - but I am in the mood for a summer romance, for sure.

mac said...

I'd visit Cafe Lux on the basis if that postcard alone ;-)

I don't know anything about spirituality. But, I have to agree with you in that we all must nurture our emotional selves. The alternative isn't pretty.

I've not seen Once, but Arrested Development is great.

Good luck with that summer romance. You deserve a grand one :-)

PENolan said...

mac: we all deserve a grand one of something or another.

Gwendolyn H. Barry said...

I like your DNA activation protocol / conclusion: clearing karma. Period. Good shit.

And yep.... that about says it all!

Anonymous said...

".....Lion in Winter may not have been the best place to start since young Velvet ran from the room in tears, shouting "How could you make me watch such a horrible woman?!"....."

That's Katherine Hepburn you're talking about there!
"Horrible Woman"?????!!!!!!?
Fi ! Velvet, Crotch-fruit of PENolan!, you have just made an eternal enemy!

Eleanor: "I even made poor Louis take me on Crusade. How's that for blasphemy. I dressed my maids as Amazons and rode bare-breasted halfway to Damascus. Louis had a seizure and I damn near died of windburn... but the troops were dazzled."
Eleanor: "In a world where carpenters get resurrected, everything is possible."

I mean, how could you not love this woman?
If you want horrible women, watch "Montenegro - Or Pigs and Pearls".

" boyfriends were essentially dildos with a Rubrics Cube attached. Once I solved the puzzle, I got a new cube......."

Great play on that near-homophonic malapropism here!
"Rubik's and Rubrics"!!!!!!
Yin's is too funny!
I especially like the way the dildo is the main element and the 'cube' is the not-altogether-important but unfortunately necessary accoutrement! "Ya gotta take the good with the bad!" Nyuck.

"......I learned my totem is a Beaver back in 2006, the summer I got thrown off a horse, got divorced, got involved with The Narcissist and got my DNA activated when I visited Granny the Ho in Lake Tahoe......."

My Totem is a 'Blind Mole Rat'; industrious, but damn, ugly as all fuck! When I finally got my DNA activated, I subsequently forgot my P.I.N. number and, of course, found myself locked-in to a five year contract that forced me to expend 100 minutes of being 'nice' each month. Philistines!

Anonymous said...

"He's 42, though, which I fully believe indicates that I should follow this path leading to younger men."

Younger, older, fatter, skinnier, they're still MEN.

They have some limited usefulness in ecstasy, but are far better suited for extispicy.

AND to prove Karmic serendipity is alive and well, my "Capcha" 'word and number' for this comment was:

"womana 520"

Pity it wasn't "666".

PENolan said...

@Gwen: I appreciate the vote of confidence. You know a lot about this stuff, after all.

SR - Velvet ran from the room right after the Queen asked one of the sons to kill his father, The King. I expect that hit a little too close to home for young Velvet. Great movie, but I should have waited until High School. He loved Dinner at Eight and My Man Godfrey, though.

ALT-F, have you ever noticed that if you spell out MOM on a telephone keypad it's 666?

Anonymous said...

Well, it was Peter O'Toole. I can forgive him then.

PENolan said...

He likes Peter O'Toole - especially in Club Paradise and The Ruling Class.

@ALT-F; good rant about Men

Anonymous said...

And "MOM" spelt upside down is "WOW"!

Speaking of upside down, the young girls yearn to meet "Mr. Right" and fall 'head over heels' in love for eternity.
Fair enough.
I'd prefer to meet "Mr. Right Now" and fall 'heels over head' for about 30 minutes, but maybe that's just me.

PENolan said...

The banker is definitely Mr. Right Now material, but I have nothing more to say about that since I have vowed to keep this blog PG-13 and sometimes my mother reads it. WOW.
He hasn't called, and perhaps he never will. Life is like that. I know enough about him to indulge in a little friendly stalking, but I'm not sure I should be involved with a Barclay's VP in any capacity which I why I didn't get his contact information. Besides, hanging out at the bar where he usually goes for happy hour will be much more entertaining.

Anonymous said...

Barclay's PLC?

You mean 'Boerclaysbank', called as such because of its continued involvement in South Africa during the apartheid regime?

I'd hold out for a Lloyd's or HSBC VP though - they're cuter and richer and not nearly as racist and sexist!

Anonymous said...

".....I know enough about him to indulge in a little friendly stalking,....."


Without a weapon, is there any other kind?

ellen abbott said...

I'm really surprised you hadn't been watching it from the beginning.

Amanda said...

It is never a disappointment to read one of your blog entries -- I'm going to look into DNA activation a bit. I need a project to keep me busy when work is slow :)

Re: 42, that's one reason I wasn't as tickled about my birthday this year, because it meant I would no longer be The Answer!

Cali said...

I really enjoyed being 42, as well. And I NEVER forget my towel!

I can't really see you with a bankster, I mean, unless you are allowing yourself to be used as a distraction so an Occupy hacktivist can wreak havoc on their books, all Fight Club style!

I really love that you educated Velvet on movie classics. I've tried to do that with my son, too, with mixed success. It's really hard to get him to sit down and watch something that he had some pre-conceived notion that it might be boring or irrelevant. Also, he has a tendency to just talk through everything with which he's not enthralled.

I haven't seen Once Upon A Time yet. I'll have to try and catch up on Netflix.

I kinda get how those of us who had sexual experiences forced upon us far too young might process everything through a sexual lens. Looking back, I think I always have, whether I was aware of doing that, or not. Wonder what I'll use now that I've lost interest in the whole sex thing?

I'm pretty interested in this DNA activation thing. Tahoe is only a little more than 2 hours from here. And now that we have the Prius, not too much gas. With all the stuff that's wrong with me I'm a little scared of what it might do. Along that same line of thought...

The Wannabe Suicide Girl gave my son a "23 & Me" DNA evaluation for his birthday this year. We are supposed to get the results back in the next couple of weeks. I'm very interested to see what it has to say. I'm also happy to say I think her reign of terror is just about over! He's finally waking up... I think.

The hangup is that he thinks he needs her to finish school. I don't think he does because he's just so damn talented. He just needs a secretary because of his dyslexia and possible ADD, and she's been it. Next semester is his last academic semester. He will have his degree in hand in 13 more months. Thankfully. It's been the never ending Multimedia Arts AA, I swear! It's so cute when he has a "serious talk" with me about how I'm going to handle him going off to work. I give a "serious" answer, all the while chuckling to myself because I'm so far ahead of him on that it's not even funny. There are a few obstacles, like only having one (decent) car between us. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

PENolan said...

Cupcake seems to be Velvet's secretary too. It works well because she needs someone to support her through bouts of extreme anxiety - so they help each other. She's been here for a few days now and they're pretty stinking cute together.

The DNA thing was fun and enlightening, though. Sometimes I think about finding a person in NYC who does the process, but I always opt for a massage instead - or paying the electric bill.

PENolan said...

Amanda - what a nice thing to hear this morning (and every morning). Hope you made the most out of being "The Answer" for a little while.

ellen - that's what happens when you don't have cable TV. I'm loving Netflix and Hulu, though - but now I'm finally caught all the way up with the series, I'm going to have to find another show for marathon TV watching. I guess there's always Dr Who since I missed that the first time around.

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