Saturday, May 21, 2011

Rapture Day

I'm glad that my first real date in some time is on Rapture Day.   I got high as hell this morning and walked down to a local lingerie shop that's been in the neighborhood for decades.  They have a sign in their window saying they are "Sweat Shop Free."  I stopped at Zabars cafe and got a zaberry frozen yoghurt cone.  When I told the women in line around me that I was having ice cream for breakfast in honor of the end of the world as we know it, everyone smiled and was glad to be alive.  I said, "dig it," like a good hippie and headed off to the nail salon.  I've been going to that salon ever since Buster was a baby.  Cindy, the owner, gave me some mini snickers bars to eat while I was having my spa pedicure.

Then I came home for a nap.

At some point during the correspondence with this fellow, Aleister Crowley popped into my head.  I'm still pretty sure that the pain in my shoulder is somehow related, spiritually, to some energy that has been stuck in my fourth chakra which vibrates on the same frequency as Aleister Crowley.   Once the block is cleared and Aleister is fully integrated into my psyche, I'll be better able to experience The Force.

I am fully aware that the doctors believe it's rheumatoid arthritis and arthroscopic surgery will be required, and in the physical reality, I'm sure they're correct.  More tests and a second opinion have already been scheduled.  Nevertheless, we cannot dismiss Aleister Crowley - particularly not on Rapture Day.

The thing is that something about the tone of this fellow's emails suggests that the man I'm meeting tonight is Aleister Crowley, only Jewish.  Or maybe he brings the Aleister out in me.  Either way is good for Rapture Day.

I suppose there's a bit of a risk when you put on high heels and head out to meet a man in a hotel bar.  If I'm not on Worldwide Hippies on Monday, I set out for the Tribeca Grand. I'm not worried a bit, but my mother would be, so I'm leaving clues on the internet.

No cause for worry. He was a perfect gentleman in real life, and I liked his looks. I hope he asks me out again when he gets back from a business trip to Amsterdam, but I may have been boring in real life. Hard to say with two Geminis.


Courtney said...

Sounds like a delightful day! Rapture it up, girl!!

Beach Bum said...

Saw Jesus at the beach today, asked him about the Rapture and he said it was cancelled on account of such nice weather. Then he made bushels of corn chips from one bag and turned the ocean water into beer.

The party was blast and the Jesus dude can really play volleyball. By the way, Mary Magdalene is smoking hot in a bikini.

jadedj said...

I am quite disappointed that Harold was wrong...again. I was looking forward to 5 months of debauchery and the complete absence of BeJesus types. Maybe next time.

Go with it.

Jennifer said...

Have fun, my wise and wonderful friend. Save the rapture for the second date though. Or third. Trust me.

Jaliya said...

How'd it go? -- Sometimes, surviving a first date is tribulation enough ;-)

It must be an experience of eclectic ecstasy for your taste buds and tummy to be walking around NYC on a Saturday morning with the munchies ;-D

Ah, yes. The rapture. Thirty years ago I believed in it for about five minutes, until my semi-boyfriend told me, right after I told him that I'd just received acceptance into my #1 university, that choosing to study psychology meant giving myself over to Satan. Buh-bye!


Vancouver Voyeur said...

The cone, a spa pedicure and then a nap? That's my idea of an awesome day! Good luck on the date!

mac said...

Of course the lingerie shop is "Sweat shop free". There's not much fabric to make one sweat.

I'm glad you survived the date unscathed.

I took a nap after work today also. I ended up sleeping three hours, wasting the entire afternoon. Ahhh :-)

PENolan said...

Friends, this morning I'm counting all y'all among my post-rapture blessings. Having a circle of gloriously witty and insightful friends is truly thing of beauty number 10-101.

Thanks, Courtney - hope you're having fun out there in OK

Beach - chips and beer? That's my kind a miracle

Jaded - I was looking forward to nonstop debauchery too. Curses! Foiled again.

Jennifer, I trust you implicitly

Jaliya - Waking and Baking then wandering around my hood is one of my very most favorite things to do. Yesterday I saw a young black man pushing his 18 month old twins in a stroller. I overheard him talking to the boys, stopped him to say he was doing a great job as a dad - and noticed one kid was dripping snot so I gave them my handy packet of tissues.
I felt like I was sprinkling fairy dust - which is, you know, distinctly similar to God's Love.
Maybe one day all those damn, fearmongering dominionists will learn a thing or two about God's Love.

mac - although it's true that lingerie often has minimal fabric, when you consider the production methods of corporations such as Victoria's Secret and The Gap, I'm glad there are small, neighborhood stores owned by local residents whose merchandise is sweat ship free. Staying out of Walmart practically constitutes an act of Civil Disobedience in these days of Corporate Control.
Which brings me to the point of my Worldwide Hippies piece for tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

Mazel Penn.....

Susan Tiner said...

Tell us more about the perfect gentleman!

I'm sorry your shoulder is still painful.

Susan Tiner said...

You might enjoy ABDPBT's post today on the failed rapture:

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