Friday, May 15, 2009

Cupcake and The Prom

The situation between Velvet and Cupcake, the almost girlfriend, has been very disappointing for a mother who was looking forward to prom night photos of her manchild in a tux. Actually, Velvet was so eagerly anticipating how smooth he'd look in a tux that I wished it for him - but it is not to be.

Cupcake is, sadly, a flake. She doesn't return his phone calls in a timely manner, says she wants to "chill" and then disappears, etc. We have all had friends like that. Friends who say, "Absolutely. Let's get together this afternoon!" When you're waiting around for that person, with other things you could be doing, s/he doesn't call as promised and when you call, s/he doesn't pick up the phone. The next day there is some lame excuse. Cupcake is like that. Plus she hangs out with The Douchebag patrol - the disrespectful ones who left a drunk girl in the bathroom.

I have complete confidence that Velvet would have overlooked all that if it meant there was sex on his horizon but Cupcake is in trouble with her exclusive girls' school. From what I've heard, her behavior was such that her school said she could not return to class until she started therapy. Panic attacks were involved. She could keep up with her assignments and graduate as scheduled, but she couldn't come to school or school events.

Which brings us to The Prom.

Cupcake had started therapy and was welcome to return to school when, for unknown reasons, her mother told her not to go to therapy. Her family is not from New York - not even from this country - which could have something to do with Cupcake's mother's attitude. There are very few confirmed New Yorkers who won't go to therapy as long as there aren't any financial impediments. Anyway - no therapy; no prom. No prom; no tux.

They could have gone to Velvet's prom, but Velvet is of the opinion that it's a lame, expensive event. It's at Tavern on the Green (totally uncool), no DJ just some asshole from school (amazingly uncool), and $150 per person before you start getting dressed. Think of everything else he could be spending $300 on -- I know he is. Plus Velvet's school is very small. Less than 50 in the graduating class and most of them have known each other since the lower elementary grades which mean they are tired of looking at each other.

Velvet likes some of his classmates well enough to spend a week in Yosemite with them at a substantially greater cost than $300, but he didn't contribute a dime to that excursion, and in Yosemite he was the Grand Pooba on account of his superior wilderness skills.

As Velvet's first romantic drama begins to fade, he's flopping himself down on my bed when he comes in at 1:30am or when he gets up for school at 6:00 in the morning wanting to talk. Naturally, I recognize that this is highly unusual behavior for a teen aged boy and am gratified that he wants to ponder the meaning of life with his mother. I just wish he'd do it at a more convenient time - but it just goes to show you how unrealistically optimistic new parents are when they think they'll finally get some sleep as soon as the infant starts sleeping through the night.

My favorite part is that he did the flop for three days running, began to tell me about stuff and got to the heart of the matter and said, "Well, it's none of your business." And indeed it wasn't, but tell that to a Gemini and watch what happens. Fortunately, I was respectful during the process and he eventually told me what was on his mind. And of course it had to do with sex.

Because I will maintain my usual respect for Velvet's privacy, I will simply say that Those Private School Girls can be problematic. Velvet can be problematic, too, but in the end, he's a young man wise beyond his years and he's going to be perfectly fine when he goes away to college.

Today is senior skip day and I just called the school to say he's at home for the day. It wasn't quite as charming as the scene in Running With Scissors when Deidre calls the school to say Augusten won't be in because he's over conditioned his hair, but it was close. One of our most cozy family moments was when Velvet and I watched Running With Scissors together to make sure I wasn't as crazy as Annette Benning, although I felt somewhat "busted" because I have also given household items a moon bath to clear out the cooties. Just a few things on the terrace under a full moon, but Velvet gave me a look that clearly said, "See, I told you that you're crazy."


Blogger Kitty said...

I think this shows that you are a cool mum - my daughter tells me there are two types of mum: Cool Mums and Uncool Mums. The fact that your son wants to discuss stuff with you is such a compliment.

I hope mine will when he's that age.


May 15, 2009 at 1:27 PM  
Anonymous dissed said...

Damn. I had high hopes for Cupcake.

May 15, 2009 at 2:37 PM  
Blogger Gail said...

Hey Trish - :-)

Great telling of the events. ANd "Running With Scissors", loved the book and loved the movie way more than the book. That took place in Norwich CT.

And I love Velvet and you processing....real good stuff.

And it looks like "Cupcake" turned out to be a "pancake", or better said, a "Flap-jack" or a "Fritter" heehee :-)

Love Gail

May 15, 2009 at 3:20 PM  
Blogger themom said...

I love being able to communicate with my son (31). He is/was so much easier to talk to. My daughters...not enough space to discuss them!!

May 15, 2009 at 4:12 PM  
Blogger PENolan said...

Cupcake may be a fritter, but I still have a hope or two left. Meanwhile, the college friends are all starting to come home which will change the landscape in my living room. Still full of kids, but no douchebags. The worst is that one of the 19 year old boys is very cute.
Uh oh.

Themom, I'm looking forward to that very long story

May 15, 2009 at 9:04 PM  
Blogger Ritz said...

I agree with you. If they want to should be at a decent hour. My kids would come to me with tidbits at the worst times. Baby girl has woken me up at unGodly hours to vent, share gossip, drama or just to spend time with me. As much as I bitch about it, I'm glad they still feel that they can come to me and I will listen. So shake your cobwebs and lend your ear. If does make for good blog posts.

May 16, 2009 at 10:27 AM  
Blogger Comrade Kevin said...

I want to judge her Cupcake harshly for some reason. Perhaps this stems from an ex of mine who was super flaky. When she promised to call, I knew I had about a 1 in 10 chance of actually receiving it.

Poor Velvet. I hope college is good to him and he can find a woman there who deserves him.

May 17, 2009 at 6:30 PM  
Blogger PENolan said...

Comrade, that is just about exactly the situation in which Velvet finds himself. It's made somewhat worse because all her guy friends have hit on her and she doesn't know how to deal with that. Sadly, neither one of them is experienced enough to know that, although Cupcake has her charms, that's what happens when kids are 17 - 20 years old and doesn't necessarily make someone "all that."

The best news, though, is that Cupcake is listening to Velvet about the Douchebag Patrol. The kids hung out here for a while yesterday afternoon before going to someone else's place last night - and there was nary a disrespectful douchebag in sight.

Ergo: Good is already coming out of it. And despite Velvet's romantic confusion, he is showing self-respect without being prideful or making an ass of himself. Excellent conduct for young man.

May 17, 2009 at 6:58 PM  

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