Hair Cuts
I got my hair done yesterday.
Velvet was supposed to get his cut while my color was cooking, but we got in a shouting match just as it was time to get ready to walk out the door. It would have been impossible to be in the same room together and remain civil, so I left him at home. I have to be civil when I'm completely annoyed all week long. I'm not doing it on the weekend too.
The dispute itself simply goes with the territory of having a kid who is on the verge of being a grown up but has a ways to go yet. Velvet is doing quite well, all things considered. But it doesn't inspire confidence when I open the refrigerator and find an empty pitcher of lemonade waiting to be magically refilled by the Lemonade Fairy who evidently comes in the night - along with the chocolate chip cookie fairy. Most likely, 80% of all mothers have had a similar experience, my own mother included. Unfortunately, conversations between me and Velvet get heated quickly because we are both prone to holler, "Oh Yeah? Well, Fuck you!"
A new DVD player was at the root of the problem. Ours has given up the ghost. Actually, the ghost was fully gone a couple of months ago. We need a new one for sure, but I wasn't ready to spend the money for a number of logical reasons. For a moment, I felt guilty for depriving my child of a new DVD player because I was spending the money on my hair. That guilt was easy to shake because I turn 50 next week and don't want to be faded and shabby. Fabulous hair trumped a new DVD player - just like groceries and electric bills have been trumping a new DVD player for a couple of months.
Velvet is now wondering when he'll get a hair cut. I wonder if he'll figure out that he needs to email Max the Genius his own damn self and make an appointment. We can only hope. Maybe he'll find the lemonade mix in the cupboard while he's at it.
If Max the Genius worked in a salon instead of his rent controlled third floor walk up in Hells Kitchen, being cordial to Velvet would have been a simple matter because we wouldn't have been near each other. At Max's Velvet would have been watching cartoons a few feet away in the living area while my head was being covered in aluminum foil in the kitchen. Max has a great set up, and he charges substantially less than a salon - at least for dedicated long time clients like me. Max the Genius has started a Beauty Coaching business that has it's own web site: MaxRyanBeauty.com
I like to relax and talk to Max - who is a totally positive individual - when he's doing my hair. As I said already, Velvet had to be ditched because I spend enough time during the week being cordial when I'm thoroughly annoyed. I'd say more about that except the blog spying continues. Being Under Surveillance by Sarah Palin's blog response squad last October was as absurd as the nonworking links they posted in my comment section. I'd link to the post except I deleted it because I mentioned something work related, and upon discovering the blog spy was connected to work, I deleted everything that was remotely work related - even the good stuff. The Palin squad was kind of funny, and my mother was the only one worried about the FBI monitoring my political opinions. The blog spies, on the other hand, are a drag because I censor myself out of fear. Being afraid sucks.
I remind myself that This Too Shall Pass. When you're fifty, so much has come and gone that you can have faith in change for the better. That's why I'm almost serious about turning to friends and neighbors in blogland to form a Search Committee for The Summer Boyfriend. I'm not lacking for admirers at the moment, but while everyone has his good points, Romance isn't happening. Since I haven't done so well looking on my own - perhaps because I'm still seeing red flags everywhere - it occurs to me that someone else should manage this project. Perhaps someone in blogland knows a suitably good natured fellow with a sense of humor. Those Match.com guys didn't have much of a sense of humor, and to be truthful, I wasn't open to Romance this winter even though my hair did look great back then too.
Velvet was supposed to get his cut while my color was cooking, but we got in a shouting match just as it was time to get ready to walk out the door. It would have been impossible to be in the same room together and remain civil, so I left him at home. I have to be civil when I'm completely annoyed all week long. I'm not doing it on the weekend too.
The dispute itself simply goes with the territory of having a kid who is on the verge of being a grown up but has a ways to go yet. Velvet is doing quite well, all things considered. But it doesn't inspire confidence when I open the refrigerator and find an empty pitcher of lemonade waiting to be magically refilled by the Lemonade Fairy who evidently comes in the night - along with the chocolate chip cookie fairy. Most likely, 80% of all mothers have had a similar experience, my own mother included. Unfortunately, conversations between me and Velvet get heated quickly because we are both prone to holler, "Oh Yeah? Well, Fuck you!"
A new DVD player was at the root of the problem. Ours has given up the ghost. Actually, the ghost was fully gone a couple of months ago. We need a new one for sure, but I wasn't ready to spend the money for a number of logical reasons. For a moment, I felt guilty for depriving my child of a new DVD player because I was spending the money on my hair. That guilt was easy to shake because I turn 50 next week and don't want to be faded and shabby. Fabulous hair trumped a new DVD player - just like groceries and electric bills have been trumping a new DVD player for a couple of months.
Velvet is now wondering when he'll get a hair cut. I wonder if he'll figure out that he needs to email Max the Genius his own damn self and make an appointment. We can only hope. Maybe he'll find the lemonade mix in the cupboard while he's at it.
If Max the Genius worked in a salon instead of his rent controlled third floor walk up in Hells Kitchen, being cordial to Velvet would have been a simple matter because we wouldn't have been near each other. At Max's Velvet would have been watching cartoons a few feet away in the living area while my head was being covered in aluminum foil in the kitchen. Max has a great set up, and he charges substantially less than a salon - at least for dedicated long time clients like me. Max the Genius has started a Beauty Coaching business that has it's own web site: MaxRyanBeauty.com
I like to relax and talk to Max - who is a totally positive individual - when he's doing my hair. As I said already, Velvet had to be ditched because I spend enough time during the week being cordial when I'm thoroughly annoyed. I'd say more about that except the blog spying continues. Being Under Surveillance by Sarah Palin's blog response squad last October was as absurd as the nonworking links they posted in my comment section. I'd link to the post except I deleted it because I mentioned something work related, and upon discovering the blog spy was connected to work, I deleted everything that was remotely work related - even the good stuff. The Palin squad was kind of funny, and my mother was the only one worried about the FBI monitoring my political opinions. The blog spies, on the other hand, are a drag because I censor myself out of fear. Being afraid sucks.
I remind myself that This Too Shall Pass. When you're fifty, so much has come and gone that you can have faith in change for the better. That's why I'm almost serious about turning to friends and neighbors in blogland to form a Search Committee for The Summer Boyfriend. I'm not lacking for admirers at the moment, but while everyone has his good points, Romance isn't happening. Since I haven't done so well looking on my own - perhaps because I'm still seeing red flags everywhere - it occurs to me that someone else should manage this project. Perhaps someone in blogland knows a suitably good natured fellow with a sense of humor. Those Match.com guys didn't have much of a sense of humor, and to be truthful, I wasn't open to Romance this winter even though my hair did look great back then too.
posted by PENolan at
9:41 AM
14 Comments:
I see where the Menoposal part comes in to play, looks like i'm booked for the summer.
Oh my god! I missed spelled Menopausal.
I'm absolutely baffled
Hi trish-
saying "Hi" to you. I really am sick with this cold thing - miserable and ack. coughinng all night and just horrid. ack.
i saw you posted - :-)
i have ZERO energy.
ack.
love you
gail
Ahh, the joys of Sons. the Alpha Slacker once got dumped off at the theatre to see V for Vendetta *alone* cuz mom didn't want to sit in the same county with him after the Penguin Squawks on the way over.
I'm sure you look Fabulos, Dahling, just Faaabulos!
(as for the Summer Romance, you've got more gumption than I... Summer means Heat, and My Mini Mental Pause includes my own volcano temps, which tires me out and makes the thought of anybody bothering me truly nauseating. Ooooh, a martini.... (said in her best Homer Simpson Voice))
Please don't be absolutely baffled, maybe slightly, kinda, sorta, ya know like that there, but not AbSolUtely. Too heavy.
It is just that I was reading your blog and the rant about Hair cuts and empty containers, for christ sake,(by the way it is not an empty pitcher of lemonade, at best it is an empty pitcher that used to contain lemonade) and so on and so forth and having lived with a woman going through menopause, well, it all just came back.
I mean the spelling part really was a mistake, but i dare you, in fact, i double dog dare you to tell a women, you have lived with for a decade, that is going through menopause, that you (moi) just made a mistake! Yeah right, ya know, 'damn honey, it was a mistake, i'm sorry.'
Oh and then wait till she has a hysterectomy half way through the process (note the spellin'), and then goes on drugs, they call them scripts, damn fine product if you like to helucinate. You are the dog of dogs and you never loved her and you have be cheating all these years and so on an so forth. but i digress.
You where just bitchin' 'bout a hair cut.
by the way i graduated from high school and university (twice)and the women stay the same. you (moi) are still a little boy in their eyes.
I mean, come on, a DVD player, and empty jug, jesus get a grip, Come on.
When you (moi) are over 60 you have seen and learned so much more than the those girls approching 50. They are so cute, they know every thing. Absolutely EveryThing.
Hey I could be wrong. LOL.
Consider me unbaffled.
I hear you on the self-censoring in blog posts-- you have valid reasons though, unlike mine which are shallow and totally driven by ego :).
I have no children, except my husband, whom I love dearly but I am amazed he survived to adulthood (well, quasi-adulthood). I still wonder how he ever managed to wipe his ass (as he never replaces the toilet paper roll).
Hopefully, you're not in charge of scrubbing out the skid marks ;)
The thing about kids is that as much as you enjoy making a nice home for them, you also want them to participate in the household in an age appropriate way which they will carry with them as they become room mates and spouses. I can cut a teenage boy some slack - especially when he got the idea that life is a nonstop fiesta for his benefit from me in the first place - but being taken for granted still hurts especially when you're struggling to make ends meet as so many of us are. Then little things take on greater significance as they are evidence of larger issues.
But I suspect you already know about that since you're not a bit shallow.
Feel better, Gail. And Fergie - the name Alpha Slacker is priceless.
Hi Trish-
going to the doctor at 3 tomorrow, hopefully i wont need antibiotics. whatever.
and my my my, busy and interesting in here -
love you
gail
So this Punch fellow comes to your blog and bitches at you? Maybe I'm reading that wrong but WTF?
I censor myself because of work issues too. My inspiration is just about gone and I wonder when I should just stop blogging. But I'd miss you all too much and I do come over when I get the chance.
I like Okjimm (he's a blog bud) but he lives up in Minnesota I think. He likes to drink beer and he has a couple of grown kids his own self. He seems nice enough. Okay, I'm done playing cupid.
I'm with you on the Hair Thing. If you have Good Hair, you can stand a lot that would otherwise make you feel like running someone down.
And Punch? Are you all right? Maybe a couple too many?
Liberality - It sucks the inspiration right out of you for sure. That's when I like to pull some inspiration out of all y'all.
And dissed, I'm thinking it's time for a new pair of shoes, too.
Ha! My teen aged daughter is a firm believer in the ice tray fairy, leaving the empty trays in the freezer as a true sign of faith. I'm totally with you on this turning 50 thing. It seems to come with some advantages once you get past the whole countdown to social security thing.
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