Monday, December 8, 2008

The Glass Bottom Boat

I like it when somebody is searching a term on Google and lands on a post that reminds me of something valuable. Take Narcissists, for example. There has been a flurry of interest in that topic recently that led several folks to the post with the narcissist joke (How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb? Stonerdate 9/16/08)

A little while ago, when I was trapped in my own personal hell, I began trying to have an impact (again) on someone who isn't a narcissist but plays one in my head. There is no doubt that the person has narcissistic defense mechanisms, but the operative word here is Defense - like putting plywood over your windows when a hurricane is brewing. We all have our stress behaviors and defenses.

That's the trouble with self-worth, identity, voicelessness and perceptual distortions - you never know when you've got something right or if you've thought something up in the quest for the Corrective Experience.

The trouble is that I'm so adept at running a scenario in my head by including or ignoring details from real life that facilitate my mind's systematic race toward a solution that when the wind from Hurricane Trish dies down, I can't tell my head from my ass.

At least I've got my sense of humor back. That may have something to do with The Artist from the South of France, but I deserve some credit for charging into the Battle of the Incest Issue. Now that I'm coming out the other side, I have started to relax and have some fun again. I also took a lot more time than I usually do when it came to choosing a man to have fun with. Quite possibly, it pays to be selective. We'll see how that develops, but I suspect I have a date for New Years.

Que sera sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera

Doris Day in The Glass Bottom Boat


Gail said...

Hi Trish-

Looks like you are on the other side too. :-)
Seems also we traveled a similar road - I believe I saw you along the way - yes, it was you. Just seeing you helped me along, that wave of 'knowing' made all the difference.

Thank you


Comrade Kevin said...

Narcissism and Narcissists are hot buzzwords at the moment, but do understand that real Narcissists make up maybe 1% of the population. It's a personality disorder.

I have known probably one true case of someone with NPD. She had absolutely no conscience whatsoever and had a habit of being sadistic and denying it if called out on what she had done. Many other people are merely selfish or insensitive.

PENolan said...

Everyone is a little bit of this, a little bit of that. It's all about falling somewhere on a continuum.

It'a also funny to see what sort of topics people search. The other day a whole group of folks landed here because of a photo of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Who knows ...

Jaliya said...

I too have had the very mixed pleasure of having some acqaintance with a person who has NPD ... possibly two.

It is a horrible condition for anyone to live with. And for those who actually *live with* a person who has NPD, life is hell. And it is a condition that is relatively rare ... though I would think increasing.

... and yes, we all move along a continuum of personality and behaviour ...

Trish, I salute you for daring to take on your perceptual distortions and your history ... I think it was Winston Churchill who said, "If you're going through hell, keep going."

(Thanks, too, for the link) :-)

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