Monday, December 8, 2008

The Glass Bottom Boat

I like it when somebody is searching a term on Google and lands on a post that reminds me of something valuable. Take Narcissists, for example. There has been a flurry of interest in that topic recently that led several folks to the post with the narcissist joke (How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb? Stonerdate 9/16/08)

A little while ago, when I was trapped in my own personal hell, I began trying to have an impact (again) on someone who isn't a narcissist but plays one in my head. There is no doubt that the person has narcissistic defense mechanisms, but the operative word here is Defense - like putting plywood over your windows when a hurricane is brewing. We all have our stress behaviors and defenses.

That's the trouble with self-worth, identity, voicelessness and perceptual distortions - you never know when you've got something right or if you've thought something up in the quest for the Corrective Experience.

The trouble is that I'm so adept at running a scenario in my head by including or ignoring details from real life that facilitate my mind's systematic race toward a solution that when the wind from Hurricane Trish dies down, I can't tell my head from my ass.

At least I've got my sense of humor back. That may have something to do with The Artist from the South of France, but I deserve some credit for charging into the Battle of the Incest Issue. Now that I'm coming out the other side, I have started to relax and have some fun again. I also took a lot more time than I usually do when it came to choosing a man to have fun with. Quite possibly, it pays to be selective. We'll see how that develops, but I suspect I have a date for New Years.

Que sera sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera


Doris Day in The Glass Bottom Boat

4 Comments:

Blogger Gail said...

Hi Trish-

Looks like you are on the other side too. :-)
Seems also we traveled a similar road - I believe I saw you along the way - yes, it was you. Just seeing you helped me along, that wave of 'knowing' made all the difference.

Thank you

Love,
Gail
peace....

December 9, 2008 at 10:26 AM  
Blogger Comrade Kevin said...

Narcissism and Narcissists are hot buzzwords at the moment, but do understand that real Narcissists make up maybe 1% of the population. It's a personality disorder.

I have known probably one true case of someone with NPD. She had absolutely no conscience whatsoever and had a habit of being sadistic and denying it if called out on what she had done. Many other people are merely selfish or insensitive.

December 9, 2008 at 3:43 PM  
Blogger PENolan said...

Everyone is a little bit of this, a little bit of that. It's all about falling somewhere on a continuum.

It'a also funny to see what sort of topics people search. The other day a whole group of folks landed here because of a photo of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Who knows ...

December 9, 2008 at 6:07 PM  
Blogger Jaliya said...

I too have had the very mixed pleasure of having some acqaintance with a person who has NPD ... possibly two.

It is a horrible condition for anyone to live with. And for those who actually *live with* a person who has NPD, life is hell. And it is a condition that is relatively rare ... though I would think increasing.

... and yes, we all move along a continuum of personality and behaviour ...

Trish, I salute you for daring to take on your perceptual distortions and your history ... I think it was Winston Churchill who said, "If you're going through hell, keep going."

(Thanks, too, for the link) :-)

December 10, 2008 at 4:32 PM  

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