Tuesday, September 16, 2008

How Many Narcissists Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

(a) Just one -- but he has to wait for the whole world to revolve around him.
(b) None at all -- he hires menials for work that's beneath him.

From How to Recognize a Narcissist
by Joanna M. Ashmun

Admittedly, there is a certain irony in pondering narcissism on a blog that is - almost exclusively - all about me. Narcissists generally believe their lives are infinitely more interesting, entertaining and filled with accomplishment than other people's when, in reality, their lives are pretty much like the lives of most everyone.

My life isn't all that different from anyone else's either. The difference between me and a narcissist is that human connections are established via the blog medium. When I read Kitty's blog, for example, and discover she went through a more extreme version of what I went through with an old boyfriend with her Ex, I get some wisdom from Kitty. Kitty lives across the ocean, and we're never likely to meet each other; but we're connected. Same with Comrade Kevin, The Great Triad and Gail of Know your "It's.", as well dissed and some others who comment regularly - not only on this blog but on Kitty' and Gail's and so on and so on and so on.

The connection between us is virtual, but it's a connection nevertheless. It's cool to find something in common with people who may never come out of blogland. That we all seem to be the kind of people who wrestle with our souls is what differentiates us from narcissists who are caught up in love/hate relationships with themselves.

In blogland, we search for other bloggers and establish connections of one kind or another. It may be that a certain egocentricity causes us to think we have enough to say to even start a blog. It also may be that there is something inside of us that needs to be voiced, and when given voice, those thoughts and feelings evoke something in the readers you never even expected to have. I certainly never expected to have living, breathing readers. Again, that's a human connection coming to life in the blogoshere.

There's a song we sing at the school where I teach. It's titled We all Sing with the Same Voice and originally comes from Sesame Street - which proves again that what's important to little kids is really important to us all.

My hair is black and red
My hair is yellow
My eyes are brown and green and blue
My name is Jack and Fred
My name's Amanda Sue
I'm called Kareem Abdul
My name is you

I live in southern France
I'm from a Texas ranch
I come from Mecca and Peru
I live across the street
In the mountains, on a beach
I come from everywhere
And my name is you

We all sing with the same voice
The same song, the same voice
We all sing with the same voice
And we sing in harmony

Sometimes I get mad and mean
Sometimes I feel happy
And when I want to cry, I do
When I'm by myself at night I hold my teddy tight
Until the morning light
My name is you

It goes on, but you get the point. I'm pretty sure that Narcissists don't.

Other Narcissist Posts:
Speaking as a Narcissistic Supply Source
Patricia and the Narcissist, Part II or Why I Obsessed on an Asshole
Patricia and the Narcissists


Comrade Kevin said...

I think I may have run across one in my life. But even one is too many.

Fallen Angel said...

Hey Trish,

Gail thinks that I'm a narcissist, but I have my own opinion. Who needs hers?

P. E. Nolan said...


dissed said...

Better to shout out into the void than to have nothing to say.

P. E. Nolan said...

Better still, occasionally something besides an echo comes back to you.

dissed said...

There you go. Even better.

Gail said...

Hi Trish-
I SO enjoyed this writing. I love how you speak of our virtual connection - so random yet so amazing! Meant to be. :-)

And Fallen Angel? As far a narcissists go? You are pretty amazing. :-)


Kitty said...

Shit ... you mean I can't stay at your place if and when I come to New York? Damn, I was counting on it.

We do make connections - and there are blogs I've clicked on and never visited again. But something makes me stay at some, makes me come back time and again, and thus friendships (of a kind) are formed. Similar life experience (the control freak thing) is one thing that draws us together (that's a generic 'us', not a personal one).

I like people. Blog-writing people are like any other people, except they're ones who like to communicate. Communicating people are my very favourite kind.


PS I'm aware that I've just rambled on in truly inane fashion. Sorry about that, but I'm afraid it probably won't be the last time that happens.

It's your own fault for writing such interesting blog posts.

Blog Archive