Thursday, August 18, 2011

Thing of Beauty #20-101: Detox Diet, Physical Therapy and Weed

The shoulder with the arthritis and inflammation has shown dramatic improvement since I started the detox diet.  The thing is, though, that I was already out of weed when I started the diet, and I couldn't get any weed for two weeks after I was fully on the program.  It takes a couple of weeks without caffein, gluten, dairy, eggs, corn, alcohol, sugar, etc. for the detox diet to start working.  So just as the diet was kicking in, I finally got some weed.

Then I went to physical therapy.  The therapist has been stretching out my frozen shoulder for some weeks, when the insurance company denied further treatment.  The provider will cheerfully continue to treat me for my original co-payment plus the amount they got from the insurance company.  Turns out that amount is only $15 per session, so I can still go once a week.  That's how it works with our current health care system.  But I can't start thinking about how fucked up that is or else I'll go straight to all that bullshit with the deficit ceiling, S&P, Congress in general, Michelle Bachman's vote-buying tent in Iowa (which I saw on Jon Stewart) and pondering the idea of a progressive challenge to Obama in the primaries.

I probably could have managed all that bullshit without drinking, but when I was sadly fatigued and foggy from a week on the detox diet when Buzz Kill called from the street outside my building at 9:30 Saturday morning.  He wanted to come up and fix the wireless cable with Velvet.  I'm pretty sure he mentioned Velvet.  Anyway, a few minutes later, Buzz Kill was in my space wearing his bicycle outfit and carrying his bike.  Not only did he have on those little spandex shorts, but he wore a white nylon sleeveless top so thin you could see his body hair, white cleats that looked for all the world like maryjanes. Under his helmet he wore a little, yellow bicycle cap. He was very sweaty from riding his bike along the river. He didn't feel like going over the bridge, though, because something was out of whack on his bike. As it happens that my new apartment is not far from one of the spots where folks can connect to the bike/jogging path and the places for giant picnics.

I'm not sure where we were with politics, society and the economy when I saw Buzz Kill in spandex, but I sure was out of weed.  I decided there an then the alcohol moratorium was over and resolved to have sparkling rose at brunch the next day with Gigi - whom I fondly call my daughter the pole dancing quadroon.  She's not really my daughter, and she's not exactly a pole dancer and she may actually be an octoroon - but certain stories have combined and that's how her name evolved.  She and I split a bottle of sparkling rose.  I had a couple of glasses the following weekend, and when I saw the nutritionist on Monday, she said a little wine every now and then was fine.  I didn't ask her about the weed since in my view weed played an integral role in my increased range of motion and decreased pain level.

Weed didn't fix my shoulder, though, because I had weed all spring and the shoulder was fucked up.  When that earnest young surgeon suggested a shoulder replacement I had plenty of weed which was a good thing because he was annoying.

My shoulder was fixed by a combination of physical therapy, diet and weed.  I decided to keep going to PT once a week after the insurance company cut me off.  In the time between my last insurance company approved session and my next appointment, the benefits of the detox diet kicked in and I got some weed.   The therapist had me walking my fingers up the wall trying to get my arm over my head.  It was okay as long as I faced toward the wall, but when I turned to the side the range of motion was sorely limited.  Back at the table, he jiggled my shoulder around in the joint a bit and pushed on a point near the lower scapula.  He repeated the process a few times and even though it was intense, I could tell it was good.  The next day,  the arm moved more fluidly in the socket, and I could even touch my head.

I figure that once the muscles were loose enough, the therapy helped ease the bones back into their correct position.

It is a thing of beauty, and so many little moments of beauty when into healing the shoulder so far that I'm going to give it 5 places in the list I've been making as part of the Discover Beauty Challenge from relia.  That brings me up to #20-101.  Buzz Kill was so funny, he gets to be #21-101.


16 comments:

intelliwench said...

I love that you're getting results! Wish that our healthcare system was truly a Health Care system, and not a "let's make the insurance companies' shareholders wealthy" system.

Here's to continued progress. And we gotta do something to keep the political headaches at bay, too!

Makropoulos said...

Wow -- this is a fabulous line: "I'm not sure where we were with politics, society and the economy when I saw Buzz Kill in spandex, but I sure was out of weed. " Wishing you weed --- :)

Gwendolyn H. Barry said...

Keep on keeping on! Hold on to your goals... you'll achieve them.

Jennifer said...

Okay after I stopped laughing at the Cyclist Buzzkill image (what's with that middle-aged men on bikes thing? I dated one for a few months last spring... but let's not go there) - and no offence BK but my word, after HOW long without caffein, gluten, cheese, sugar and alcohol? I was laughing and cringing...

But after all that, I was really glad to hear your shoulder is improving. Beautiful think for sure.

PENolan said...

Jennifer: Poor Buzz Kill. I've heard from Velvet that Buzz Kill's own girl friend told him that camel toe was not a good look for him. Velvet himself says he's been damaged by the sight . I didn't even look in that direction myself because I was stunned by all that belly hair showing through . . . .

As for middle aged men on bikes - they are everywhere these days, pedaling as fast as they can to prove they can still outrun the reaper. I totally support the exercise and good health idea. What I can't understand is why they insist on the outfit and how they come to the conclusion that biking 25 miles means they should have 25 year old girlfriends. Buzz Kill's not like that, though - and frankly, I'm not sure he's interested in a GIRL friend, if you get my drift ;)

GHB, Makropoulous and Intelli - thank you for your good wishes. And Mak, keep wishing for the weed!

Nice to see you, Intelli. It's about time for your daughter to go back to school, isn't it?

Gail said...

HI TRISH -
So good to hear your shoulder is moving better, fluid and that you can touch your head again. :-) The Buzz Kill image made me laugh right out loud. Loved it :-)
Have a great weekend
Love you Texas
Gail
peace.....

Mr. Charleston said...

I misread "earnest young surgeon" as Earnst & Young surgeon and somehow it made sense. Tell me I need some weed.

PENolan said...

You need some weed, Mr. C

Gail - glad you got a laugh. I wish I could have snuck a photograph, but if Buzz Kill has been reading the blog all along - and you never know, he might have been - he would be solid pissed off to see a picture of himself on Menopausal Stoners.
But it was a sight.

dissed said...

Okay, now we all want to see a picture of BK in spandex. It's a wonder you didn't fall down laughing.

Glad your shoulder's improving. Walking your fingers up the wall -- brilliant.

intelliwench said...

Hey, Tricia - yep, back to school time looms again. Wish I had time to swing by the City this trip North...maybe in the Spring!

Susan Tiner said...

Camel toe isn't a good look for anyone.

I am glad to hear the should is feeling better!

PENolan said...

I'll keep my fingers crossed for the spring, Intelli.

Sound Fashion advice, Susan.

dissed, I had to leave the room and resist the urge to call my mother right that very minute to dish.

Cali said...

Sorry I'm so late to the party, but things have been pretty crazy around here with three college students starting classes today. I'm really glad to read that your shoulder is getting better. I know what it's like to have part of your body unable to do its job. In fact, I seem to have more of them every day.

As for the mental image I get of Buzz Kill in Spandex, well, it's not pretty. It's a kind of a lumpy, balding accountant, hair-in-all-the-wrong-places thing-- sort of Jeffery Tambour-ish. Of course, I have no idea what Buzz Kill actually looks like, but that's the mental image I have.

Here's wishing continued healing on the shoulder, and never having to see Buzz Kill, (with or without the Spandex,) without weed again.

Vancouver Voyeur said...

My daughter goes to a fitness club and does pole dancing workouts. She has competed locally and out of state and come in second at regionals. M insists the pole workout is a front for stripping. I say she wouldn't always be needing money if she were stripping. I can see the athleticism of the sport. I think it would be fun to try it too. I don't see how this type of sport is different from the Cirque de Soleil people dancing on poles and ribbons.

PENolan said...

V.V. - it's really not a bit different. None of the women in Gigi's class ever take off their clothes. It's also another way of owning your own sexuality. Gigi is writing her master's thesis in psychology on the topic of dance and women's sexuality to compliment her work as a dance/movement therapist.

Cali - I'll smoke to that!

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